1. No particular straw and I wouldn’t say “swore it off”. But a long time of bad experiences and rejection/failure (and subsequently reflecting on the pain that it caused me) just slowly but steadily made me arrive at the point where I’ve given up and have stopprd caring altogether.
I would probably compare it to an aspring musician who eventually came to the realization that he was never going to make it big, so he just moved on with his life and got a “normal” job.
2. I haven’t exactly ‘swore it off’. Rather, it was a slow realization (read: a change of my own worldview) of the dynamic between (heterosexual) men and women in the dating world and the fact that it’s a very competitive market. Given that, chances of me finding one (that I would be attracted to, have good chemistry with and similar interest/lifestyle etc) that would reciprocate my feelings are very slim. I’m not particularly good looking, nor do I have the wealth or status that would catch someone’s attention. Combined with long work hours, asocial lifestyle and online dating (which makes up a significant portion of current dating market), lowers my chances even further.
To make it clear, I don’t blame anyone for this. Women (or men) shouldn’t settle for less than what they feel that they deserve. And the fact that women gets excess attention from men, unwanted or or otherwise, makes it a challenge for women too in how they select a partner. Women have to filter out men, one way or another. And I’ve made peace with the fact that I simply don’t make the cut.
3. I wouldn’t say swore off, I just don’t want to dedicate my time to dating. My free time is limited, why spend it trying to meet people that I don’t even really like? It’s also just kind of a waste of money. I’d rather have more in the bank, and dedicate more of my day to getting better at the things that I actually enjoy doing / spending time with my social circle.
4. I’ve never sworn off dating. I just decided I didn’t want to be the one that had to make the first second third fourth fifth and every move every single time. So I don’t date anyone because I don’t want to bother with approaching asking out making the first moves on first date following up etc etc. A woman is free to make a move at any point lol
5. I put years into improving myself, and those years of continual improvement eventually turned into decades. I’m now in the best position my life has ever been in, and yet it’s still not enough to even get my foot in the door.
I’m now at the point that I wonder if I’m even human.
6. There wasn’t a straw; it just reality. Women have never found me physically attractive. I am also not one to play games and deal with all of the bullshit of dating. Finally, I’m stubborn and still have standards for whom I find attractive. So those I would find attractive, won’t find me attractive so I just gave up. I also don’t find the modern aesthetic attractive at all.
7. Sworn off marriage. ive seen 9, yes, 9 divorces in my extended family. 1, single case, did it go amicably. it is also the only case the man didnt get obliterated in court. (to be fair, a lot of them the man was awful, but this is also not uncommon.
8. The demoralisation of trying to get with someone, then when I did get with someone their was the demoralisation of being with that person and being used as a punching bag, physically and mentally, then the demoralisation of splitting up and being back at square 1 again, it’s wasted time and money that I won’t get back
9. May return eventually but still not for a while. Last one, which was 2 years ago, tried to tear me down and she broke the camel’s back with one final action: questioning my grief. I lost two grandparents in the span of 3 months. Grandparents who were mother and father to me.
Long story short, she and her family got furious that I was not over their deaths after a week of my last grandparents passing and called it rude. I was still down and depressed after reluctantly going to a wedding they invited me too.
That was something they couldn’t understand why I wasn’t happy all the sudden at the wedding. No more people who attack my family, attack my values, and question how I grieve. That is no woman I want in my life. Even now, I remain scared I will meet another woman who will turn out like that.
10. I didn’t do well, dating is a lot of work for me and was filled with rejection etc
Even when I did get some dates, it never worked out and nobody could ever get me a straight answer as to why.
Oh and the one time I had a proper long term relationship, turned out she has undiagnosed BPD, and eventually snapped and almost killed us both.
I’m happier staying away from dating etc than I was putting myself through all that crap.