What are your urges like?
The need for sex is constantly present. The pleasure it brings is pure euphoria. And I have the constant need for it so when I get it, I want it even more. All the time. The better the sex, the more sex, the happier I am.
Is having a relationship hard?
It’s hard on my partner. We hooked up when I was 16 and I was needing to have sex multiple times a day. At one point 10 times in one day. Which he could keep up with back then. But now 10 years later he is understanding of my needs but not quite meeting them. In 2020 he agreed to letting me do onlyfans to get some of my needs out without being unfaithful. But became uncomfortable with that after a while. It does put a strain on our relationship because his sex drive cannot match mine.
Have either of you brought up an open relationship?
We’ve talked about it and it’s just not for us. I NEED sex but I want it from him. And he doesn’t want me with anyone else. And I don’t want to be with anyone else.
That’s not to say I don’t have strong urges that could make me cheat and I do worry about what would happen if I were put into a position of temptation.
Do you avoid situations where you cheat? Like bars or clubs?
I do go out but I have to bring one of my sisters with me who will decide when I’m getting out of line or in a dangerous situation and have a bouncer wait outside with us for a ride/Uber. But I go out less now since I’ve put my sisters in situations where they feel I/they are unsafe.
When I drink I become very bubbly and friendly and sometimes respond to that behavior in ways that could get me in trouble or seem like an invitation.
Is it the act of sex (penetration) or the orgasm that you seek? Like, is masturbation a part of it as well?
I would say it’s both. It started getting worse around 12 with like obsessive masturbating. But now I also need the penetration to feel close to someone.
Does it satisfy you if he uses toys on you? Is that an option for you to get your needs met and him to be a part of it?
Absolutely! But he works a lot so he’s often tired and has to go to bed early
Have you tried denying/avoiding those instincts/feelings for a while? If you did how long have you lasted?
Even after having a baby I was supposed to wait 6 weeks to have sex and I only waited 2 lol it’s complicated to explain I guess. I need sex to be happy and I need it very often. I’m very horny all the time and I get disappointed and upset if I can’t have it. Which can cause problems
How does your sex drive correlate to your mood? Does bad/good mood bring it down temporarily?
Usually when my head is in a bad place I want it even more and I’m pan
Is there an event in your life that contributed to your hyper-sexuality? Was there any sexual abuse that you think may have led to your hyper sexuality?
I was molested at age 7. But also very over sexualized by men from a young age due to my features. And then I was introduced to chat rooms like Omegle around 12 and would have inappropriate relationships with adult men
Have you found any solutions or working towards a solution to break your addiction?
It has gotten better over the years to wear I can go 2-3 nights a week without it but meds do not work for my specific mental illness, I’ve done 10 years of therapy and 7 years with a psychiatrist.
Were you diagnosed?
Borderline personality disorder. I’m diagnosed with ptsd as well.
Have you been prescribed medicaiton?
I have been on Latuda, Wellbutrin, Prozac, Zoloft, lamictal, risperdal, the list continues. 7 years of different medication combinations with little to no difference in most symptoms.
How do you counter this huge thing in your life to allow yourself to lead a normal life?
I mean it’s not debilitating I still function and do things like a normal person
Obviously you were a victim in your childhood, do you resent your hyper-sexuality sometimes because of the circumstances in which you got it?
I guess it’s hard for me to really resent sex because I do love it. I guess I would like it if it wasn’t too much for my partner sometimes but it’s not his fault it’s fully on me