This has been going on for a few years and has gotten more blatant overtime. It makes me question our friendship a little. I sorta understand, because he is focusing his life 100% on his career and his career field is something that I’m also interested in.
But at the same time I feel a bit exploited/used. He only asks me for business advice. At this point I feel like I should just withhold information.
This isn’t a friendship anymore – it’s a business transaction where only one party is getting paid.
Look, I get it. We all have that friend who’s laser-focused on their career, treating life like it’s one big networking event. But a real friendship isn’t a constant game of “What have you done for me lately?”
You say you’re questioning the friendship “a little.” I’d say it’s time to question it a lot. This guy has made it clear where you rank on his priority list, and it’s somewhere between “useful contact” and “free consulting service.”
Here’s the thing: You don’t need to withhold information. That’s just playing his game on his terms. Instead, it’s time to have an honest conversation. Next time he calls with another “quick question,” try this:
“Hey, I’ve noticed our conversations lately have been pretty one-sided. I value our friendship, but I’m feeling a bit used. Can we talk about that?”
If he’s worth keeping as a friend, he’ll realize he’s been taking you for granted and make an effort to rectify it. If he deflects, gets defensive, or – worse yet – only calls again when he needs something else, well… you’ve got your answer.
Remember, true friendship is reciprocal. It’s not about keeping score, but there should be some balance. You deserve friends who value you for who you are, not just for what you know about their industry.
And hey, if this friendship has run its course, that’s okay too. Sometimes people grow apart, especially when their priorities diverge. You’re allowed to invest your time and energy in relationships that feed your soul, not just someone else’s career ambitions.