My wife has a temper problem. Only gotten worse after our second baby was born. We have been married for a long time.. And have two kids. She can get worked up over trivial things and end in screaming, slamming doors etc breaking things including furniture. Throwing my clothes on the floor.
She has never accepted responsibility or apologized for this behavior and any suggestion she had such a problem and to seek help will only end up in another screaming situation.
I probably should have left her long ago. It’s not always been bad though. We have two kids and a mortgage.. And I don’t know what to do.
Your situation is deeply troubling, and I’m concerned for your well-being and that of your children. What you’re describing isn’t just a “temper problem” – it’s abuse. Full stop. Screaming, breaking things, throwing your belongings – these are acts of intimidation and control, not normal reactions to stress or frustration.
The fact that it’s escalated since your second child was born suggests there might be underlying issues like postpartum depression or anxiety. However, this doesn’t excuse her behavior. Her refusal to acknowledge the problem or seek help is a major red flag. It shows she’s not willing to take responsibility for her actions or work on improving the situation.
You’re in a difficult position with two children and financial ties. But staying “for the kids” in an abusive environment can be more harmful than leaving. Children learn relationship patterns from their parents. Is this what you want them to think is normal? The intermittent good times don’t negate the abuse. Many abusive relationships have periods of calm or even happiness. This doesn’t make the abuse okay.
Here’s what I suggest: Start by documenting the incidents. Keep a record of dates, times, and what happened. This could be crucial if you decide to leave or seek custody. Seek counseling for yourself. You need support and an objective perspective to navigate this situation. Consider your safety and that of your children. If you ever feel in danger, have an exit plan ready.
It would be wise to consult with a lawyer about your options. Understanding your rights regarding divorce, custody, and finances will help you make informed decisions. Also, reach out to domestic violence resources. Even if she’s not physically violent, her behavior is abusive, and these organizations can provide valuable support and guidance.
Remember, you don’t deserve to live in fear or constant stress. Your children deserve a peaceful home. Sometimes, leaving is the kindest thing you can do for everyone involved, including your wife. It might be the wake-up call she needs to address her behavior.
Whatever you decide, prioritize your safety and that of your children. You have options, and you have the strength to make tough decisions. Trust yourself.