A few days ago, I had a job event where I had to go alone and spend the night away. My girlfriend mentioned she might have a girls’ night while I was gone but wasn’t too sure yet.
Anyway, the next day after my event, I texted her that I was driving home. She didn’t respond because her phone was dead and she was still sleeping.
When I was almost home, she called me and asked where I was. After telling her I was almost home, she informed me that there were three guys I had never met or heard of at our place and that I should come in and meet them.
To make a long story short, she had been out drinking with her best friend, Alice, which was totally okay with me. Then a guy friend of Alice’s called, saying they were nearby and should meet up. That guy friend came with two more guy friends. They bought drinks for the girls, and afterward, they mentioned they had nowhere to stay since they came from a different city.
My girlfriend told them it was okay to come to our place as it was empty and we had additional beds where they could stay. She invited all of them while I wasn’t home, as she’s always quite friendly.
They all ended up at our apartment, drinking until morning. Alice left for work in the morning, and then I came home to this situation.
I feel left out and uncomfortable that I wasn’t informed about these random guys sleeping at our home, especially since I pay 100% of the rent and utilities. When I asked for the guys’ names, she could only name one of them, but she said she trusted them. I do believe her that nothing happened and no one slept with anyone.
She apologized for not kicking them out earlier in the morning, which also didn’t make sense to me. Right now, we’re barely talking while we’re both at home. How should I react to this whole situation?
I hate to be the one to say this, but we need to face facts here. This situation stinks worse than month-old fish wrapped in gym socks.
Let’s look at what we’ve got: Your girlfriend, alone in your apartment that you pay for, drinking all night with three strange men she can barely name, while you’re conveniently out of town.
She only fessed up when she realized you were about to catch her red-handed. Think about that for a second. She asked where you were, and only when she found out you were close to home did she suddenly remember to mention, “Oh by the way, there are three strange men in our apartment.”
I know you say you believe nothing happened, but let’s be real – that belief is doing some Olympic-level gymnastics to avoid the obvious. People in committed relationships don’t typically invite strangers of the opposite sex for all-night drinking sessions in empty apartments. That’s not “friendly.” That’s sketchy as all get-out.
Look, I can’t say with 100% certainty what went down that night. But I can say this: Even if by some miracle nothing physical happened (and that’s a big if), she’s already cheated you out of trust, respect, and peace of mind in your own home.
You deserve better than this, my friend. Much better. It’s time to take off the rose-colored glasses and see this situation – and this relationship – for what it really is. Trust your gut. It’s screaming at you for a reason.
Remember, a partner who truly values you doesn’t put themselves in situations that make you question their fidelity. They don’t disrespect your home or your trust.
It’s time for some serious soul-searching about whether this is the kind of relationship you want to be in.