My boyfriend made a lot of money with crypto, and because of it he’s also lost it all. We’ve been together for 8 years and I’ve supported him through all the ups and downs, and I wonder if my loyalty is worth it.
I’m(f28) and seeing my friends move in and get married with well adjusted/normal men is making me resent my boyfriend(m28).
He worked one bad office job at 20 and decided he never wanted to do that again. He quit college and decided to pursue entrepreneurship instead. A couple of failed businesses, and a dangerous ride during the crypto era have left me exhausted.
Two years ago, when I was broke and looking for a job, he decided to take us on a trip. We had a great time and I paid for all my expenses with money that my parents gave me, but he paid for the accommodation. Now, he has just charged me for my “contribution” to the trip. He’s so broke he’s now inventing charges out of thin air.
This, the utter failure in his professional life, the lack of financial security in our future together is making me doubt whether he is someone i should be spending the rest of my life with.
I’m jealous that my friends get to go to restaurants and order dessert without looking at the bill. I’m jealous that they get to move in with their boyfriends, knowing that the bills would be paid on both sides. I’m jealous that I perhaps didn’t have the self respect to find a better man to be loyal to throughout my twenties.
Eight years is a long time to invest in someone, especially when it feels like you’re not getting much return on that investment.
Let’s be real here: This isn’t just about money. It’s about stability, responsibility, and shared values. Your boyfriend’s financial rollercoaster isn’t just affecting his bank account – it’s eroding your trust and respect for him.
That bit about charging you for a trip from two years ago? That’s not just broke behavior, that’s desperate and frankly disrespectful behavior. It shows a lack of consideration for your financial situation and the dynamics of your relationship.
Now, I’m not going to tell you to dump him. That’s not my place. But I will say this: It’s time for a come-to-Jesus talk with yourself.
- Is this the future you want? Because right now, you’re looking at more of the same.
- What would it take for you to feel secure in this relationship? Is it realistic to expect that from him?
- Are you staying out of love, or out of habit and fear of change?
- What do YOU want for your life? Not just financially, but in terms of shared goals and values?
It’s okay to want financial stability. It’s okay to want a partner who contributes equally. It’s okay to want to order dessert without breaking into a cold sweat.
Your feelings of jealousy and resentment? They’re valid. They’re also big red flags waving in your face, honey.
Remember: loyalty is admirable, but it shouldn’t come at the cost of your own wellbeing and future. You’re not a rehabilitation center for a man’s potential. You’re a partner, and partnerships should be mutually beneficial.
If you decide to stay, be prepared for some tough conversations and hard boundaries. If you decide to go, know that it’s not selfish to prioritize your own happiness and security.
Either way, it’s time to stop being a passenger in your own life. Take the wheel, decide where you want to go, and don’t be afraid to change course if the current path isn’t getting you there.
You’ve got this, and you deserve better than scraping by and second-guessing. Trust me on that.