Our rent is only 450, but we still can’t afford it. My husband rides a bike 20 miles a day just to go to work. I can’t find a job, we are 750 in the hole with our landlord. I’ve tried loans and cards. Nothing. We can’t afford to live anymore
edit: We both have addictions that we both don’t want to get rid of. I don’t mean crack or meth. I mean like weed, vapes, beer and cigarettes.
Hey, I’m going to be real with you—this isn’t about rent, and it’s not about money. This is about choices. You’re in a tough spot, and I’m not here to pile on, but I’m also not going to sugarcoat it. You and your husband are in a hole, and you’re holding the shovel.
First off, $450 for rent? That’s low. So let’s be honest—it’s not that you can’t afford the rent. It’s that you’re choosing not to make the sacrifices needed to stay afloat. You’ve tried loans, cards, and whatever else, but the truth is, more money won’t fix what’s going on here. You’ll just burn through that, too. Right now, it sounds like you’re running from the hard truth that your lifestyle is draining you.
You both have addictions, and you said it yourself—you don’t want to get rid of them. But here’s the reality: Those addictions are controlling your life. Weed, vapes, beer, and cigarettes might not sound as dramatic as crack or meth, but they’re robbing you all the same. Every dollar you’re spending on those habits is a dollar you don’t have for rent, for food, for getting out of this hole. Every puff, every drink is keeping you from moving forward.
It’s not just about money—it’s about the life you’re trying to live. You’re busting your tail, your husband’s riding 20 miles on a bike to get to work, but then you’re turning around and giving it all away for temporary comfort. You’re numbing yourselves instead of facing the real pain of your situation.
Look, I get it. Change is hard. And the idea of giving up the things that bring you comfort in the middle of this mess probably feels impossible. But what you’re really saying is that you’re choosing your addictions over a future where you’re free from this constant financial stress. That’s the choice you’re making, whether you see it or not.
You need to stop thinking about loans and cards and start thinking about cutting the things that are draining your life. It’s time for you and your husband to get on the same page, look each other in the eye, and decide what kind of life you want to build. Because right now, you’re not living. You’re just surviving, and barely at that.
Here’s the tough love: You have to give up the things that are keeping you stuck. Until you do that, no amount of money, no job, no side hustle is going to get you out of this. It starts with you two making the hard call to prioritize your future over your addictions.
You’ve got more power in this situation than you think—but it’s going to take both of you to step up, face reality, and take action. You can dig yourself out of this, but only if you’re willing to stop digging the hole deeper. It’s time to choose a different path. You can do this, but you have to want it more than the temporary highs.
I’m rooting for you.