I’m filipina, and I’m proud to be one. I was hurt when my boyfriend said Filipinos are the ugliest of all the asians and he just laughed and didn’t understand why i was upset over that comment. He said “you’re the lucky pretty one you don’t look filipina”. like okay but you’re calling the rest of my family and ancestors ugly?
Then one day, he told me that I went from being a pretty japanese girl to a brown filipina because i got really tan. I got offended and he doesn’t understand why I’d be hurt by that comment. I got sad that he couldn’t see what he did wrong, and i cried for hours.
To me, he called another race beautiful while my race is just inferior. How would you react to this?
Alright, let’s cut to the chase here. What your boyfriend said is not just insensitive – it’s flat-out racist and deeply hurtful. This isn’t a small slip-up or a misunderstanding. This is a glaring red flag waving right in your face.
First off, there’s no such thing as an “ugly” race. That kind of thinking is rooted in harmful stereotypes and prejudices that have no place in a healthy relationship or society. Your boyfriend isn’t just insulting you – he’s insulting your family, your heritage, and millions of people he’s never even met.
The fact that he thinks you’re “lucky” to not “look Filipina” is especially messed up. He’s basically saying that your worth is tied to how much you don’t look like your own ethnicity. That’s not a compliment – it’s an insult wrapped in a backhanded compliment.
And let’s talk about that comment about you going from a “pretty Japanese girl to a brown Filipina.” He’s implying that being darker-skinned is somehow less attractive. That kind of thinking is toxic and damaging.
The kicker here is that he doesn’t understand why you’re upset. That shows a profound lack of empathy and awareness. He’s not just saying hurtful things – he’s doubling down on them when you express your pain.
So how should you react? With your feet. Walk away. This guy has shown you who he is – someone who holds racist views and doesn’t care about your feelings. Believe him.
You deserve someone who respects you, your heritage, and your culture. Someone who uplifts you, not tears you down. Someone who sees your Filipina heritage as beautiful, not something to be “overcome.”
Don’t let anyone make you feel ashamed of who you are or where you come from. Your heritage is part of what makes you unique and beautiful. Anyone who can’t see that doesn’t deserve to be in your life.
Remember, you’re young. You’ve got your whole life ahead of you. Don’t waste it with someone who makes you feel less than. You deserve better, and better is out there. It’s time to love yourself enough to walk away from anyone who doesn’t appreciate all of you – including your roots.