For context we have been together for five years on and off most recently has been overall healthy and we have seemingly “matured” and “grown” from the past.
He is an avid hunter and has always been around guns and there are many guns in his home. I would go hunting with him and we never had any issues.
Over the past year he has started to carry a pistol around and has pointed it unloaded at me and of course I told him how that upset me and how it breaks the first rule of gun safety and he said “he would never put me in harms way” and he “knows what he is doing.” Then this would happen a few times until one day he pointed it at me loaded.
I don’t even remember my reaction because I was so scared why I stayed with him after this? Idk. But he of course said he was just kidding it wasn’t pointed at me.
He stopped doing it we moved on, now he has started to bring out his ar-15 which has now been pointed at me 3 times and his dog.
He made the excuse “I’m just testing the scope” and “there’s nothing in it I promise you”. is he a psychopath or just an immature 21 year old?
Listen, this is not okay. Not even a little bit. What you’re describing isn’t just immature behavior – it’s extremely dangerous and abusive. Let me be crystal clear: There is no excuse, no justification, and no scenario where pointing a firearm at another person is acceptable. Period.
This guy isn’t “testing the scope” or “just kidding.” He’s demonstrating a complete disregard for your safety and wellbeing. The fact that he’s done this repeatedly, even after you’ve expressed how it upsets you, shows a pattern of escalating behavior that’s deeply concerning.
You asked if he’s a psychopath or just an immature 21-year-old. The honest answer is: it doesn’t matter. His behavior is putting your life at risk, regardless of his motivations or mental state. This isn’t about maturity – plenty of 21-year-olds understand basic gun safety and respect for human life.
Here’s what you need to understand: You need to get out of this situation immediately. Your safety is at risk every moment you’re around this person. Do not confront him about this behavior again. It could escalate the situation dangerously. Instead, reach out to trusted friends, family, or a domestic violence hotline for support and help making a safe exit plan. Once you’re safe, consider reporting this behavior to the authorities. This isn’t just about you – his reckless behavior with firearms puts others at risk too.
After you’re out of danger, seek counseling or therapy to process what you’ve been through. It’s normal to feel confused or conflicted after experiencing this kind of abuse. Remember, you didn’t cause this, you can’t control it, and you can’t cure it. But you can choose to protect yourself. You deserve to feel safe in your relationships. This isn’t love or immaturity – it’s abuse, plain and simple. It’s time to put yourself first and get to safety.