Been dating this girl for about six months, she stays at my apartment maybe two or three days a week. She wasn’t here last night so this morning during breakfast I scroll through reels to find her something funny.. Start the day off right. Go to send her one and discover that her last name has changed to mine. We’re not married, not engaged, have barely even talked about marriage. I’m not even mad, but boy that had to have been the biggest cold chill to hit my spine since last winter.
Oh man, nothing like casually scrolling through some reels, ready to brighten your girl’s day, and then—bam—instant panic attack because you’ve apparently taken a huge relationship leap without even getting off the couch.
First off, let’s address the spine-chilling moment: You’re not alone in feeling like the universe just threw you into the deep end without any warning. Finding out someone’s taking your last name before you’ve even had the “future” talk? Yeah, that’s not something most of us are prepared for. But let’s not go full-on “Bro, what?” just yet.
This is probably more of an innocent act on her part than some sneaky, life-altering power move. Maybe she’s just playing around with the idea, got a little overzealous with how comfy things feel between you two, or maybe she’s not even thinking that far ahead—it could be something silly like a name change on social media for fun. People do weird stuff online. Maybe she’s just messing with her name to see how it looks. Who knows?
But let’s get to the real issue here: Communication. You gotta talk to her, man. Don’t go in guns blazing like, “WTF is this?” but maybe bring it up casually, like, “Hey, noticed you’ve been practicing using my last name. Should I be planning a surprise wedding I don’t know about?” Lighten the mood, see what her reaction is, and let the conversation unfold naturally.
You’ve been together six months. If things are going well, then it’s probably time to start talking about where this thing is heading. That doesn’t mean you need to start shopping for rings or planning color schemes for the reception. Just get on the same page about where you’re both at. She might be in a different headspace than you, and that’s okay—as long as you can both talk about it like adults.