My (F27) husband (M34) and I have been married for little over a month, but we have been together for quite a while.
I love him and I want to grow old with him but he’s gross and it’s honestly bothering me. He’s not SUPER gross IMO but he’s gross enough. He farts 24/7, no joke. I do not have a break from smelling this man’s ass breath. I don’t have a problem with farts; I fart too but he’s averaging at least 100 rotten egg farts a day and he thinks it’s funny too.
Today, he discovered a pimple on his dick and wanted me to see him pop it. I said no cause I don’t want to see blood and pus oozing from something I suck. He kept trying to push it on me and I kept saying no to the point when he just gave up and squeezed it on his own in the bathroom, but took a picture for for me to see her “later” even though I kept seeing repeatedly that I don’t want to see it. So later on tonight, I guess the pimple fills with pus again and he popped it next to me and it exploded on my arm. my head was turned when he popped it so I didn’t see him actually do it. I just saw the aftermath on my arm. I got pissed, he wipes it off and says he didn’t realize it got on me but then still proceeds to show me that picture he was saving for later with a bunch of white shit oozing out of his shaft. In response to me being mad, he says stuff like “oh this is marriage. Why are you disgusted?”
He does other little things like burp very loudly and whenever he eats cereal, the milk is always sloppily draining down his beard. He’s always pissing on the toilet seat. I don’t find those things nasty individually but when I think about them collectively in combination with EVERY gross thing he does, I get pissed cause he just seems like a nasty person overall.
Idk man is this normal in a marriage and am I weird for being grossed out?
First off, I want to tell you that you’re not crazy for being grossed out. Let’s just get that out of the way. It’s completely normal to be put off by your partner’s habits, especially when those habits involve things like farting all day and popping pimples on intimate body parts. That doesn’t make you a bad wife, and it doesn’t mean your marriage is doomed. What you’re describing here is two different things happening at once: you’re experiencing some normal, “real life” marriage stuff, and you’re also bumping up against some serious boundaries being crossed.
Here’s the deal: marriage isn’t all romance and date nights. It’s shared space, shared lives, and yes, shared bodily functions. But there’s a line. There’s a difference between feeling comfortable enough to be human around each other and flat-out disrespecting your partner’s boundaries. From what you’re saying, it sounds like your husband is mistaking gross-out humor and pushing your limits for intimacy. But intimacy isn’t about seeing how much of your partner’s bodily fluids you can handle before you lose your mind. It’s about respect, trust, and safety. And right now, it sounds like that’s being overshadowed by his lack of consideration for how his behavior is making you feel.
You’ve only been married for a month, but you’ve been together long enough to know this guy isn’t just going to magically change overnight. What’s more important here is that you need to communicate to him, clearly and firmly, that his behavior is pushing you away. Let him know that while you love him, and yes, you expect to deal with some gross things in a marriage, this isn’t about farts and pimples anymore. This is about you feeling unheard, disrespected, and honestly, treated like your discomfort is a joke.
There’s a big difference between being human and being careless. It’s one thing to fart or burp and laugh about it—it’s another to constantly ignore your partner’s request to stop shoving gross things in their face (literally). Marriage is about making each other’s lives better, not just tolerating each other’s bad habits. So, let him know that his actions aren’t landing as funny anymore, they’re coming off as dismissive.
It’s going to be uncomfortable. He might get defensive, he might brush it off as “just being a guy,” but you’ve got to be honest here. If he doesn’t hear you, if he doesn’t acknowledge that this is about respect, not just farts, you’re going to keep resenting him more and more over time. And no one wants to be married to someone they resent.
This is a moment to set the tone for how you’ll handle issues like this in your marriage going forward. Healthy marriages are built on clear communication, respect, and a willingness to adjust for the sake of each other’s well-being. And if there’s one thing that’s certain, it’s this: you deserve to feel respected and comfortable in your own home. That’s not too much to ask.