I’m gonna be 24 in a few months and it makes me feel horrible. I even feel some sort of shame when someone asks me for my age.
I’m so stuck in the past. I want to play games, be close with my siblings and friends and it is ending. My friends are finding their own partners to be loved by. Siblings have their own lives. That love that people around have for you it’s just “second handed” you’re not anyone’s priority anymore and it sucks because I’m still stuck on how things used to be.
I’ve had a somewhat abusive childhood could that be the cause? Am I on the spectrum? I’ve been told I’m emotionally mature. I just don’t feel socially mature. I still feel 18. It’s destroying me to see everyone move on with life while I’m alone.
I hear you. Turning 24 feels like a strange transition—caught between wanting to hold onto the past and watching everyone around you move into new stages of life. There’s this feeling that the love and connection you once had, especially with friends and siblings, is fading into the background. You’re watching people find their partners, build their own worlds, and suddenly you’re not at the center of anyone’s life the way you used to be. It’s a really tough realization, and it’s normal to feel hurt by that.
First off, it’s okay to still feel 18 inside. Many of us carry pieces of who we were at different stages of life—it’s part of what makes us who we are. The truth is, no matter how old you get, you’ll always feel like a mix of ages. Some days, you’ll feel like a teenager, and others, like you’ve lived a hundred years. That’s human.
But let’s dig into what’s really eating at you here—feeling like you’re being left behind. You’re seeing people find love and independence, and it’s like you’re stuck watching life happen around you while you feel frozen in place. Part of this could absolutely be tied to your childhood. When you’ve experienced an abusive or difficult upbringing, it’s easy to get stuck in survival mode, especially when the world around you starts moving faster than you’re ready for. You’ve probably spent a lot of time just trying to get through, and now that things are shifting, it’s like life is happening without your permission.
Feeling like you’re not anyone’s priority anymore hits hard, especially when your identity has been tied to being close with your friends and siblings. But here’s the thing—relationships change, and it doesn’t mean they’re gone forever or that you matter any less. The love you’ve experienced from the people around you isn’t disappearing—it’s evolving. And yeah, that can feel like you’re losing something, but you’re also gaining space to figure out your own priorities and your own path. You’re learning to be your own priority. That’s uncomfortable, but it’s where real growth happens.
Let’s talk about this feeling of social immaturity. You say you’re emotionally mature, but socially you feel out of step. It’s possible that part of what you’re experiencing is a disconnect between how you think you should be feeling and how you actually feel. People on the spectrum often describe feeling like they’re watching others move through life with a script they never got, and you might be experiencing something similar. But whether you’re on the spectrum or not, the important thing is to give yourself permission to feel out of sync without judgment. Everyone moves at their own pace.
You’re not stuck—you’re in a transition, and transitions are messy. It’s okay to grieve the past, but don’t let it make you believe that the future holds less connection, love, or happiness. You’re not behind. You’re just moving through a different part of your journey.
The key to accepting that we only get older? It’s realizing that aging isn’t about losing—it’s about becoming. You’re becoming the person who gets to create the love, the friendships, and the connections you want. And yeah, it’s scary when the life you knew starts to feel distant, but it also means there’s room for new things, new people, and new experiences. It’s not the end of being loved or prioritized—it’s just the beginning of figuring out how to prioritize yourself and find meaning in places you never thought to look before.
Be patient with yourself. You’re exactly where you need to be, even if it doesn’t feel like it right now.