Hello, I (32F) have the opportunity to go on a international vacation on my own. I have travel credits I need to use and going on a solo vacation has always been on my to-do list. I am also a mom of 2 and my husband (36M) is encouraging it.
I just recently found out my friend (30M) will be also doing a solo trip and going to see a concert where I was wanting to go. I think it would be awesome if I could fly with him there, see the show and then part ways. I talked to my husband and he is okay with it although I’m worried about what other people will think, especially my in laws and my parents “why would she go on vacation with another man?!”
But I don’t want to have to explain myself over and over. Input on whether this is appropriate?
Let’s be real for a second. You say this is a “solo trip,” but as soon as your male friend happens to be going to the same place, the solo part doesn’t seem to matter anymore. Suddenly, it’s not about getting away for yourself—it’s about sharing part of that trip with a guy who’s not your husband. And that? That’s a major red flag.
Look, if my wife came to me with this idea, I’d be concerned. Not just because it’s another man, but because it completely changes the dynamics of what you originally said you wanted—a solo trip. Now it’s a vacation where you’re flying with a male friend, going to a concert together, and then “parting ways.” That’s not the same thing as the solo adventure you’ve been talking about. It’s not the same thing at all.
And let’s talk safety for a second. Does your husband know this guy well? Is he comfortable with him, or is he just brushing off his gut feelings because he wants to be supportive? The truth is, even if your husband is okay with it, the fact that you’re worried about what other people will think should tell you something. You know it doesn’t look good. And no matter how you try to explain it, people are going to see through that math—it doesn’t add up.
I’ve been married a long time, and here’s something I’ve learned: when you’re in a committed relationship, especially with kids, you don’t make decisions that are all about you. You don’t just leave your family behind for some solo adventure—or worse, for a trip that’s not even solo anymore. You’re part of a team. Why wouldn’t you want to make those memories with your husband and kids? Why would you want to put yourself in a situation where bad decisions can happen? This trip sounds like a setup for regret, and nothing good is going to come from it.
If you need a break, take it with your family or send the kids to stay with relatives and go away with your husband. That’s where the real memories are made. But this? This is a bad idea from the start. You’re 32, a mom of two, and you’ve got a family to think about now.