I’ve recently started to come to terms with the fact that the way I’ve felt about my best friend (I’m a male she’s a female) isn’t just friendly/brotherly & sisterly love. I’ve seen every side of this girl, I know her ins n outs. And I think I love her, but it terrifies me to think this because I can’t ever imagine ruining our beautiful friendship.
But at the same time, the way this girl looks into my eyes with nothing but happiness makes me absofuckinglutely melt and I want nothing more than to just grab her and never let go.
Hey man, I get it. What you’re feeling is terrifying, and it’s completely understandable that you’re scared of how this might change everything. Falling in love with your best friend? That’s like stepping into a minefield—every move feels risky because you’ve got so much to lose.
But let’s break it down. You’re not terrified of your feelings. You’re terrified of the unknown. What if she doesn’t feel the same way? What if you confess and it blows up everything? That’s the fear talking, man, and fear is loud.
Here’s the reality: you care about her deeply, and that’s never going to be a bad thing. Love—real love—comes with risk. But you don’t have to make any sudden moves. Take a breath. There’s no rush to figure everything out today. The most important thing here is to think about what you really want, long-term.
Ask yourself this: Can you continue being her best friend while keeping these feelings locked up? Or is it going to eat at you until you either say something or pull away? If you think you can be cool with just staying friends, then fine. But if you’re losing sleep over this and it’s messing with your head, then eventually, you’re going to have to have a conversation.
When (or if) you do, keep it real. Don’t hit her with some grand, dramatic confession. Just be honest. Tell her you value her friendship more than anything, but that lately, your feelings have started to shift, and you want to be open with her about that. You’re not asking her for a decision on the spot; you’re just telling her where you’re at.
Let her process it, because this is going to be big news for her too. The best part is you already have a foundation of trust and understanding—whether you end up together or not, she’s going to appreciate your honesty.
Whatever happens, you’ve got to respect her response. If she feels the same way, great. If she doesn’t, yeah, it’ll hurt, but at least you’ll know. And in time, you’ll both figure out how to navigate whatever comes next—whether that’s taking things further or recalibrating the friendship.
Bottom line: Love is messy, and it doesn’t always come wrapped up in the neat package we expect. But it’s also a beautiful thing when it’s real. Just don’t let the fear of “what if” paralyze you. The worst thing you can do is live in that limbo forever. Whatever you decide, be kind to yourself in the process.