I have been with my girlfriend for almost 3 years now and I love her a lot, but I don’t think I can see us getting married. I would love to get married but I just don’t think she’s the one.
We have lots of good times but we also argue a lot. We have different core values which doesn’t help cause I feel like I can never voice my public opinion to her. I also like to have a life of my own sometimes, but it feels like she always has to be next to me.
She’s very stubborn and ALWAYS argues over something stupid which is really getting to me. I feel like things always have to be done her way instead of us working together on things or occasionally letting me have my way.
I’ve constantly brought up problems that I have with her and she claims she’s trying to fix them but even after a couple years nothing has changed much.
Now I do have great times with her and I love her a lot, but I just don’t know if i could ever marry her. I would appreciate some advice and some input on whether I should try sticking it out with her.
It sounds like you’re standing at a serious crossroads here. You’ve got a lot of love for this woman, and it’s clear you’ve shared some great times together. But love isn’t enough on its own to make a lifelong relationship work. That might sound harsh, but it’s true.
What you’re describing are foundational issues, not just surface-level disagreements. Core values—how you see the world, how you approach problems, even how you live day to day—those aren’t just small hurdles to jump over. They’re the bedrock of a healthy, lasting relationship. If you can’t express yourself honestly, if you feel like your opinion is consistently shut down or you’re walking on eggshells, that’s a heavy burden to carry in a relationship. Over time, that resentment builds, and it can break you.
Now, let’s be real: every relationship has its ups and downs. No one is perfect, and everyone’s stubborn about something. But it sounds like you’ve repeatedly brought up your concerns, and after three years, not much has changed. She may say she’s trying to work on it, but if you’re still feeling the same way after all this time, that’s a red flag waving high and clear.
As for needing time to yourself—that’s not selfish. It’s healthy. In a strong relationship, both people respect each other’s need for space, hobbies, or time alone. If she’s not understanding that, it’s another indicator of a deeper mismatch.
Here’s the deal: staying with someone because you have “great times” and you love them is tempting. But marriage is a partnership, and if you’re already seeing that you two don’t mesh on critical issues—communication, compromise, shared values—that’s going to be magnified down the road. Marriage won’t fix those problems; it’ll intensify them.
My advice? Have a raw, honest conversation with yourself. Do you truly see a future where these issues don’t weigh you down every day? If the answer is no, then it might be time to step back and reconsider whether this relationship is right for both of you. And I’m going to be blunt here: it’s okay to walk away from something that isn’t serving you, even if it’s hard. You deserve a relationship where you’re heard, respected, and can grow—not one where you’re stuck in the same arguments, year after year.