I’ve been dating this girl for a few weeks, and she comes from a background where her mom has always had older, wealthy men supporting them, buying cars, paying for private school, and even moving them into their homes. The mom has a very traditional mindset—she believes men are the providers and women are the “feelers.” She’s even said I’m “like a girl” because I don’t agree with this.
The other day, my girlfriend and I were talking about cars, and I said I’d never buy her a car—I think it’s wasteful, and I’d rather use the money for something more meaningful, like a trip. She got upset and said it’s wrong I wouldn’t buy her a car if she needed one. She even told her mom, who patronized me and said I don’t have the “provider mindset.” I tried explaining that money should be used wisely, but it didn’t go over well. Now I’m just confused about this whole situation.
You need to wake up and take a hard look at what’s happening here. You’ve been dating this girl for a few weeks, and you’re already getting dragged into some serious red flags. Her mom’s calling you out for not being a “provider” because you’re not willing to throw money at the problem like the guys she’s used to? That’s a huge issue.
Let’s be clear—this isn’t about you being wrong for how you handle money. You’re actually being smart, thinking long-term, and trying to build a future with intention. But your girlfriend? She’s already blowing up because you won’t buy her a car after a few weeks of dating? Dude, that’s not normal.
And then running to her mom to back her up? You’ve got a full-grown woman still looking for her mom to validate her in every argument. That’s a dynamic you don’t want to be tangled up in long-term.
Here’s the tough love: this isn’t just about a car or a trip. This is about values, maturity, and how you’re going to handle big decisions as a couple. And right now, it’s looking like you’re not on the same page. If you keep pushing forward, you’re setting yourself up for years of dealing with this same toxic pattern.
You deserve someone who values you for who you are, not for what you can buy them. And if that’s not the vibe here, you’ve got to cut your losses and walk away before you waste any more time.
It’s early enough to run—and trust me, you’ll thank yourself later.