Earlier today, my mother just scream at me.
She screamed, “A child who thought that parents are not children’s obligation is a useless child. Why? Because everything that the parents did to their children when they were still a kid must be paid by their children.
They have to pay the parents. And they mustn’t keep their salary a secret, because the parents have the right to know their salary, the parents have right to know if it’s increases… To really know, how much money they must have from their children.
Children need to pay their parents from the day they were born to the day how they earned money.”
Alright, let’s get real here. Parents make the choice to have children. That’s on them. No child asks to be born. Your mom chose to bring you into the world, and with that choice comes the responsibility to care for you, support you, and help you grow into an independent adult. Children don’t owe their parents for basic care. That’s a parent’s job. It’s not a loan that you have to repay, and it sure as hell isn’t a debt that hangs over your head for the rest of your life.
Your life, your choices, and your finances are yours. Period. You don’t owe anyone access to your bank account or your paycheck just because they gave you life. Respect is earned through love, support, and mutual understanding, not demanded through guilt trips and screaming matches. Your mom’s perspective on this is unhealthy and toxic, and it’s important to recognize that her expectations are her problem, not yours.
Boundaries matter here. You have every right to draw a line and say, “No, I’m not sharing my salary, and I’m not responsible for paying you back for doing your job as a parent.” Don’t let guilt or obligation weigh you down. You have the right to live your life without feeling like you’re a financial or emotional crutch for someone else’s expectations.
Stay strong, stand your ground, and know that you’re not a “useless child” just because you refuse to hand over your autonomy.