I’m 25 with a wife and 2 kids. My wife and I both work. I need advice on how to get my wife to cut back. She keeps us broke by buying all kinds of things we don’t need and can’t afford. She needs multiple expensive coffees a week and when we eat out she is too boujee to order something cheap.
I’ve tried explaining to her for years but she keeps buying and taking out klarna loans and loans of the like in both our names. I make pretty decent money but even then I can never get ahead.
Hey man, I hear you, and let me tell you, this is a heavy load to carry. You’ve got a wife, two kids, and you’re working hard to provide for them, but it feels like you’re treading water. First, I want you to know you’re not alone in this. I’ve had a ton of conversations with people in your shoes, and this situation isn’t just about money—it’s about communication, trust, and respect in the relationship.
Now, I’m going to be blunt here. You can’t keep doing what you’re doing because it’s clearly not working. You’ve explained it to her for years, and nothing has changed. So this isn’t just a financial problem—it’s a relationship problem.
Here’s what you need to do: sit down and have a heart-to-heart with your wife about where you’re headed as a family. Not in a “you spend too much” kind of way but a “this is where we are, and this is where we’re going if we don’t change” kind of way. Paint the picture of what happens if this continues—the stress, the debt, the opportunities you’ll miss for your kids, and what that does to your marriage long-term.
Then, you need a budget, and you both need to agree to it. You can’t just make this decision on your own; you’ve got to bring her on board. And listen, it’s going to be uncomfortable—but that discomfort is necessary if you’re ever going to get out of this hole. You need to start telling your money where to go instead of wondering where it went.
Lastly, I’m going to challenge you here: you need to establish some boundaries. If she’s taking out loans in both of your names, that’s a major breach of trust. You need to be clear that this can’t continue. You’re a team, and one person can’t just drag the family into debt without the other’s consent. If she’s not willing to work with you on this, then I’d recommend getting a professional involved—whether that’s a financial counselor or a marriage therapist. Sometimes, an outside perspective can help break through where our words have fallen short.
You can get through this, but it’s going to take tough conversations and clear boundaries.