I’m feeling conflicted about a recent decision my husband made, and I’m hoping you can offer some advice. My husband, 49, made an impulse buy—a $100,000 Porsche 911. It’s a two-door with barely any trunk space, which, as you can imagine, isn’t exactly practical for a family with two elementary-aged kids who play sports.
Here’s where it gets complicated: My husband does make a significant amount of money, so while he can technically afford the car, it affects our ability to save for bigger things—like buying a home and setting aside money for the kids’ education. The purchase feels a bit reckless given those priorities, but he didn’t consult me before making the decision. I get it—he’s the breadwinner, and I don’t want to make him feel like I’m trying to control his money. But this wasn’t a small purchase. This is $100,000, and it’s hard to just brush that off.
What’s really bothering me is how it feels like we’re not on the same page financially. He didn’t think to talk to me about it first, which makes me wonder if he sees us as true financial partners or if he feels like his income gives him a pass to make big decisions on his own.
How do I approach this conversation without making him feel like I’m overstepping? I want to be supportive, but I also want to feel like we’re both in this together—especially when it comes to major financial decisions that affect our family’s future.
Thanks in advance for your help.
This situation is a perfect example of how money is never just about dollars and cents—it’s about values, priorities, and communication. The $100,000 Porsche 911 your husband bought isn’t just a financial choice; it’s a reflection of where he sees his money going. And when big purchases like this affect long-term goals—like saving for a home or your kids’ education—it’s natural to feel concerned, especially if it wasn’t something you discussed together.
Here’s the key thing: The fact that your husband is the breadwinner doesn’t negate your power in the relationship. Just because he makes more money doesn’t mean he gets to make unilateral decisions about how it’s spent, especially when those decisions impact your family’s future. Money in a marriage isn’t just a reflection of income—it’s a reflection of partnership. A marriage is a team effort, and no one’s contributions, whether financial or otherwise, are more or less important. The decision-making process should reflect that.
Your husband likely wasn’t trying to dismiss you with this purchase, but it does point to a disconnect in how you both view big financial decisions. Money is a tool, and when one person uses it without considering the broader family goals, it creates tension. It’s not just about the car or the money itself—it’s about the process of making decisions as a couple and ensuring your financial moves reflect the life you both want to build.
The conversation you need to have isn’t really about the car; it’s about being on the same page. Approach it as a discussion about shared goals, not about restricting his freedom to enjoy his hard-earned money. Talk about what kind of future you both envision and how financial decisions fit into that picture. Make sure he knows that just because he earns more doesn’t mean your input is any less valuable. In a healthy partnership, both voices should carry weight, regardless of income.
The real issue here is alignment—of values, goals, and how you communicate those. If you can get on the same page about the bigger picture, those smaller financial decisions will feel less like a power struggle and more like a shared journey.