1. My soon to be ex wife has adhd and it pplayed a huge role in our divorce. It was like having a 3rd child, and she never made me feel like she appreciated all the work I did to make our lives work.
Day to day was rough. I did all the house chores, managed finances, ordered groceries, cooked and so on.
Look for a partner who is actually a partner. Someone who reciprocates and can think of you, do things that work for your love language even if it doesn’t come naturally to them. Someone who values your option and wants to make big decisions with you.
2. Married over 50 years. Dead bedroom, anxiety, decreased memory, has trouble finding words when talking, irrational thinking, forgetting basic ideas, unable to decipher verbal communication, moody, repeats information she already has told me.
Been to Doctors, scans,etc. All test come back OK. Docs have nothing to go on. No real treatment yet. Adult kids are concerned as well. Dementia is a bitch.
But I dearly love her.
3. Before two year’s of couple’s therapy, she was 10/10 on the difficult scale. As time passed and healthy habits solidified, she’s 3/10 difficult.
4. Partner has ADHD among other issues and can get easily frustrated and panicky even when confronted with simple tasks. Can sometimes make day-to-day life difficult
5. Not difficult at all. I’m with a wonderful, accepting, and passionate woman. We’ve been together for 28 years, 23 married, and I’d happily be with her for the rest of my life.
And the sex is still amazing.
6. Very. Dead bedroom. We’ve been married for 8 years, both 29. Have two kids, and we barely have sec anymore. I had a vasectomy and that did not help my drive but it short it through the roof. Hers is non-existent.
She’s a SAHM. I do everything at home, cleaning, dishes. I don’t count anything with the kids because I’m a dad, it’s part of my roles as a father to do. But I take off as much as I can off her plate.
And she barely shows me affection, she grunts and groans when I make a sexual innuendo, or smack her ass. Like it’s almost 6 months since we last had sex. I don’t want to be 29 and I’m pretty much done having sex. But I can’t leave her, I don’t want to do that to my kids. I grew up in a broken house.
7. Super low-maintenance. I feel very lucky. She grew up rich but doesn’t expect me to provide her a rich-girl lifestyle. Which is good, because I can’t.
8. -3 out of 10? She is not difficult at all. In fact makes my life easier and more pleasant. If anything I’m probably the difficult one.
9. Not very difficult at all. She is one of the most chill people ever. She is happy to let me take the lead and she likes to follow. She trusts me and I trust her. We have had some rough times over the years but overall we have come out better than ever. 23 years together so far.
10. Very. Dead bedroom. Very wasteful. Strong-minded/stubborn. Doesn’t admit she’s wrong.
But she is absolutely gorgeous and she’s the mother of my children. Very smart. Funny. Nice body….
Dead bedroom is killing me though because I do a lot and try to put her needs before mine. I’m more active with the kids. Give them baths, brush teeth, do their homework etc… Her only real chore is cooking. And grocery shopping. I do everything else.
She also makes more money than me. Not that that’s an issue, but she claims she’s the “breadwinner” when we split everything 50/50.
11. She’s cool, not difficult at all. Very understanding. Beautiful and overall just very sweet and generous person. Gives me space when needed, and it goes both ways. I honestly feel like i’m more difficult to deal with. Been together 14 years and it’s been wonderful despite some rough patches.
12. She’s…frustrating. She deals with a lot but she tends to lash out and be toxic and hurtful in a lot of ways. I often feel like I’m letting her down. I’ve got ADHD so that makes things a struggle as well, and we’re both p insecure about a lot of things. Often I wonder if there’s someone better for the both of us. We seem to be incompatible in so many ways. But I love her dearly and I couldn’t imagine my life without her. It’s been building that house one brick at a time for us.