Back in June, I let my mom use my credit card for our cat’s emergency surgery (~$1,000). She promised to pay me back by the end of the month and asked to keep the card to make payments directly. I was hesitant but agreed, wanting the debt paid off quickly. She initially paid $200, so I stopped checking statements—huge mistake.
While I was abroad, I got a text saying I had only $10 left on my card. I checked and found she’d racked up around $2,000 on Amazon and beauty salons without telling me. Since I didn’t know and wasn’t making minimum payments, I’ve been hit with nearly $100/month in interest.
I’ve begged her to pay anything for months, but she hasn’t. The debt and interest are crushing me—I even took out a bank loan to cover some of it, hoping she’d stop. But last week, I found another $140 charge on Amazon. What can I do?
You’re not just dealing with a money problem—you’re dealing with a boundaries problem. And until you address that, no amount of budgeting or begging is going to fix this.
You knew from the start that letting your mom keep the card was a bad idea, but you hoped it would all work out. Hope is not a strategy. Your mom has shown you—repeatedly—that she’s not financially responsible and doesn’t respect your boundaries. You gave her an inch, and she took miles… with interest. Now you’re stuck with debt, anxiety, and a lesson you really need to take to heart: you can’t rescue someone by lighting your own financial future on fire.
So here’s what needs to happen:
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Take the card back immediately. This isn’t up for debate. Call your credit card company, lock the account, and stop giving her access to your financial life. The longer you wait, the deeper the hole gets.
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Stop expecting her to make things right. She’s had months to pay, and she hasn’t. Wishing for her to suddenly step up isn’t going to happen. Take ownership of the debt—it’s unfair, but it’s now your problem to solve. The sooner you face that reality, the sooner you can fix it.
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Recognize that love and accountability can coexist. Setting boundaries doesn’t mean you don’t care about her; it means you’re no longer letting her recklessness hurt you. If she gets mad? That’s her problem. If she blames you? That’s still her problem. Your job is to protect your own financial stability, not play hero in her financial drama.
You’re in a tough spot, but you’re not powerless. The sooner you act, the sooner you can start digging out of this mess. It’s a brutal lesson, but one that will set you up for a stronger, healthier financial future if you let it. You’ve got this—but it starts with taking control. Now.