My girlfriend and I have been together for 2 years I love her very much and I’ve pretty much already decided I want to spend the rest of my life with her but something weird happened last week. I came home from work earlier than usual and I really needed to use the bathroom so I came home rushed straight to the bathroom (it was an emergency)
I guess she had her airpods on or she wasn’t paying attention but I guess she didn’t notice me come in, anyway while I’m doing my business in the bathroom I hear keys rattling and my locked drawer (that I never gave her a key to) open and she’s rattling through it. So I decided to keep quiet until she’s done that’s what I do so when I hear her leave the room I go check the drawer quietly and I found she’s taken a lets just say a significant amount of money.
At that point I’m pissed I go out to confront her then I realize she left so now I take a moment and I calmed down a little and decided to wait it out before I confront her. At first I wanted to be nice about it so the next day I sat down with her and told her “babe if you ever need anything you know I’ll help out however I can” and she goes “yeah I know babe and I love you for it” so I ask her bluntly So why did you steal from me? She freaks out starts stuttering and swearing she never stole anything then started acting all upset that I’m accusing her and stormed out.
Truthfully I don’t even care about the money if she’s desperate enough to steal it I’ll let her have it I’m just hurt by the lies, I don’t know what to do now. My dad has been telling me to break it off with her but I’m not sure.
Let’s start with the core issue: trust. A healthy relationship cannot survive without it. What happened here isn’t just about the money—it’s about privacy, honesty, and respect. She went into a locked drawer without your permission, took something significant, and then lied about it when confronted. That’s not just a crack in the foundation of your relationship—it’s a full-blown breach. And her reaction? Denying it, deflecting blame, and storming out? That adds another layer of hurt.
The fact that you’re focusing less on the money and more on the dishonesty says a lot about your values. You’re willing to support her if she’s struggling, which shows your generosity and care. But her choice to take what she needed without asking—and then lie about it—creates a rift that can’t be ignored. It’s not about the amount she took; it’s about what her actions say about your partnership.
Now, I know you love her, and after two years together, it’s hard to just walk away. But you have to ask yourself some tough questions. Why did she feel the need to take the money instead of just asking you? Is there something bigger going on—like financial trouble, addiction, or a deeper issue she’s hiding? And perhaps more importantly, is this a pattern of behavior? Has she been dishonest, secretive, or dismissive of your feelings before?
You tried to handle this with calmness and care by bringing it up the next day, and she shut down that opportunity for communication. Instead of owning her mistake, she doubled down and made you feel like the bad guy for even bringing it up. That reaction isn’t just disappointing—it’s concerning. It’s one thing to make a mistake, but it’s another to avoid accountability altogether.
At this point, you have some decisions to make. If you feel there’s still hope and you want to give this relationship a chance, you’ll need to sit down with her again. Lay everything out clearly: your hurt, your concerns, and what you need from her moving forward. And this time, make it clear that honesty is non-negotiable. It’s not about accusing her; it’s about understanding what’s really going on and whether she’s willing to rebuild the trust she’s broken.
On the other hand, you also need to protect your heart. If she continues to deflect, deny, or dismiss your feelings, it’s worth asking yourself if this is the kind of partnership you want for the rest of your life. Love alone can’t sustain a relationship. It needs trust, respect, and mutual accountability to thrive. If those aren’t there, no matter how much you care about her, it may be time to walk away.
You deserve someone who values your trust as much as you value theirs. Whatever happens next, make sure you’re putting yourself in a position to build a relationship that’s healthy, honest, and built on mutual respect. You’re worth that.