So, I [30M] have been married for 7 years, and every time my wife [29F] has her period, it feels like doomsday.
She will find anything to start a fight. For instance, one night she saw me watching a TikTok stream where the host was a man. She started a fight, accusing me of watching girls! Later, after her period, she admitted she knew the host was a man but blamed her behavior on her hormones during that time.
She often says things like, “Why don’t we just separate?” or brings up other topics I’ve told her are crossing the line for me.
I know this is a difficult time for her, so I try my best to stay calm, comfort her, and avoid getting angry. But over time, I feel she’s lost some respect for me. Now, she laughs at things I say that are serious and meaningful to me. She constantly complains, criticizes my looks and voice, and even says our marriage was the worst decision she ever made.
These words hurt me deeply, and I can’t tell what’s true and what’s not, even if it’s during her period. When we argue, she leaves no stone unturned, purposefully targeting things that she knows will hurt me the most. She seems to do this just to provoke a reaction or start a fight.
One time, after a particularly bad fight, she said it was “sexy.” Later, she claimed she only said that to mess with me.
I feel like I’m losing my mind over these constant and repeated fights during her period. I see that both of us are changing because of this.
Do women go this far during their period? Could something else be going on? And can a woman ever truly respect a man again after losing that respect?
Let’s unpack this, brother, because you’re carrying a lot of hurt, confusion, and frustration—and it’s understandable. It sounds like this situation is less about her cycle and more about unresolved tension, communication issues, and maybe some deeper patterns in your relationship.
First off, let’s address the elephant in the room: yes, hormones can affect mood and behavior, but they don’t give anyone a free pass to treat their partner poorly. Period or not, respect is the foundation of any healthy marriage.
Your wife’s words and actions during these fights are cutting deep. When someone throws out phrases like “our marriage was the worst decision” or “why don’t we just separate?”—even if they don’t mean it—it plants seeds of doubt and pain that are hard to uproot. Those comments aren’t just fight-fuel; they’re nuclear-level attacks that erode trust and connection. If these fights are becoming a regular cycle, it’s no wonder you feel like you’re losing your mind.
Here’s the hard truth: it’s not just about her respect for you—it’s about your respect for yourself. When you let someone treat you like this, over and over again, it sends a message: this is okay. But it’s not. You don’t deserve to have your looks, your voice, your very existence criticized and dismissed by the person who promised to love and support you.
And no, a period isn’t an excuse. That’s a scapegoat. If she’s lashing out, it’s either because she truly feels these things and doesn’t know how to communicate them, or because she knows exactly how to push your buttons and is doing it on purpose. Either way, this isn’t sustainable.
You need to take a step back and think long and hard about what you’re tolerating here. If she’s willing to weaponize your vulnerabilities against you, to the point where you feel like you’re losing your mind, something’s broken—and it’s not going to fix itself.
You deserve a partner who lifts you up, not one who tears you down and then laughs about it. Until you decide to stop allowing this behavior, it’s going to keep happening. Respect yourself enough to draw that line, because she’s not going to respect you until you do. And honestly? She probably already knows you deserve better.