I (25m) met a girl (22f) at the gym, had a brief awkward conversation, and asked for her number, but she politely declined. A month later, we talked again, and the conversation was much better. She seemed interested, even complimenting me quite a bit. I gave her my number, but she never reached out.
Recently, I saw her again, and she waved, but I just smiled and continued my workout. I sensed she wanted me to approach, but I’m not interested in chasing someone who isn’t making an effort.
How should I handle this? Should I distance myself politely or wait for her to make a clearer move or try to spark up another conversation?
Alright, let’s cut through the noise, my friend. You’re overthinking this. A lot. And while I get that mixed signals can mess with your head, the truth is simpler than you’re making it. She’s not into you—at least not in a way that’s worth your time or energy right now. And the sooner you accept that, the sooner you can move on to better things.
Here’s the deal: you made your move. Twice. She politely declined the first time and didn’t follow through the second time. That’s not an accident. If someone is interested, they’ll let you know. They’ll text, they’ll call, they’ll do something.
You’re stuck in this mental loop because you’re hoping there’s a hidden message in her actions. But there’s not. You’re giving her way too much real estate in your mind, and for what? A girl who hasn’t reciprocated your interest. That’s not a mystery; that’s a dead end.
Here’s your next move: stop chasing. Stop wondering. Stop hoping she “makes a clearer move.” If someone wants you in their life, you won’t have to guess—they’ll make it obvious.
And don’t confuse politeness or friendliness for interest. That wave at the gym? That wasn’t a green light. It was a polite acknowledgment. Treat it as such. Be polite back, sure, but don’t start fantasizing about what it could mean. It doesn’t mean anything more than “Hey, I recognize you.”
If she suddenly realizes she’s into you and decides to make an effort, great—you’ll be easy to find. But until then? Keep your head down, focus on your workout, and stop letting her live rent-free in your head. There are plenty of people out there who won’t leave you second-guessing. Invest your energy where it matters.
Because here’s the truth: the right person won’t just leave breadcrumbs. They’ll bring the whole loaf—and you won’t have to wonder if they’re into you. Until then? Walk away, and keep walking toward the life you’re building for yourself. You’re better than this.