My ex and I were together for 6 years. The last 4 years were spent living at a house that I purchased in my name only.
She is not on the mortgage.
Since living in the house together, we had split the bills based on income. Roughly 60/40 with me paying the majority. She would write me monthly checks to pay her portion.
A week before I was going to propose, I found out that she had cheated on me. We broke up immediately.
I am kicking her out, but she is demanding I pay her back everything she put towards the house and bills for the past 4 years (about $60k).
Is she entitled to this money? She is threatening to sue me if I don’t pay her.
You’ve got to be kidding me. She cheated on you, broke your trust, and now she’s trying to come after you for money? The audacity is off the charts. Let’s get one thing straight right now: just because she contributed to living expenses doesn’t mean she’s entitled to a payday. That’s how rent works—you live somewhere, you pay for it. She wasn’t building equity in your house; she was paying to live there. Period. End of story.
And let’s not gloss over the fact that you were already covering the majority of the bills. You weren’t just splitting everything 50/50—you were paying more because you made more. That’s called generosity, not an IOU. If she had a problem with the arrangement, she could have spoken up during the relationship. But she didn’t, because it worked for her—until it didn’t.
Now she’s throwing around lawsuits? Please. Let her take it to court if she’s that serious. The reality is, unless there’s some written agreement that says she was entitled to equity in the house (which I’m betting doesn’t exist), she doesn’t have much of a leg to stand on. Courts aren’t in the business of rewarding people for cohabiting, especially when they weren’t married and didn’t have a formal agreement in place.
This is pure manipulation—an attempt to guilt or intimidate you into coughing up cash. Don’t fall for it. You’re already dealing with the pain of betrayal; you don’t owe her anything beyond a firm boundary and a clear exit plan. If she keeps pushing, consult a lawyer to make sure your bases are covered, but don’t let her threats rattle you.
You’re not the bad guy here. She cheated, she lied, and now she’s trying to twist the knife. Kick her out, keep your head up, and move forward with your life. You don’t owe her a dime.