Context: I’d say I’m a pretty nice person, try to be empathetic to everybody even “mean” people, I keep a policy of putting myself in other peoples positions, etc.
Recently though, I’ve been thinking about giving up on this, feel like people who are assholes do so well from being assholes, and I don’t remember what was the reason which made me choose this empathetic path in the first place, it could be because I’m drunk right now.
Anyway I’m hoping someone can shed some light on the issue, and help me remember why it’s worth being a good and empathetic person, instead of being egotistical and self minded.
Let’s sit with this for a second, because this is a real question. It’s one we all wrestle with at some point—whether we admit it or not. Why should you keep being a good person when the world seems to reward people who are selfish, rude, or downright cruel? Why keep playing by rules that don’t seem to apply to everyone else?
Here’s the first thing to remember: being a good person isn’t about them. It’s about you. It’s about the kind of person you want to be, the kind of life you want to live, and the kind of mark you want to leave on the people around you. If you start measuring the value of your empathy and kindness by how others treat you or how much success “bad” people seem to have, you’ll always feel shortchanged. That’s because empathy and kindness aren’t transactional. They’re about integrity—living in a way that aligns with your values, even when it’s hard or inconvenient.
Now, let’s talk about those “assholes” who seem to win. Sure, being ruthless or selfish might get you ahead in certain areas—more money, more power, more attention. But here’s what people don’t tell you: those wins come at a cost. Relationships are shallow. Trust is non-existent. And the constant need to “win” leaves them chasing something they can never fully grab. They might have more on paper, but they often live lonelier, more unfulfilled lives. Is that the trade-off you want?
Being a good person isn’t about some cosmic scoreboard where kindness guarantees you success. It’s about creating a world around you that you can stand to live in. When you choose empathy, you build deeper connections. You create trust. You inspire others to be better, even if you don’t see it right away. And most importantly, you get to look yourself in the mirror and know you’re living with integrity.
But let’s be real—being good isn’t always easy. It’s tiring, especially when the world feels like it’s full of people who don’t care. You don’t have to be perfect. You don’t have to give everything to everyone. Boundaries are essential. But don’t let the selfishness of others convince you that kindness and empathy don’t matter. They do. They create ripples you might never see, but that doesn’t mean they’re not there.
The choice to be a good person isn’t about what other people deserve. It’s about what you deserve. You deserve to live a life where you’re proud of the choices you make, where you don’t have to apologize to yourself at the end of the day. That’s why it’s worth it. So take a breath, shake off the frustration, and keep walking your path. It’s not always the easiest, but it’s the one that leads to a life worth living.