I’ve been living with my parents my whole life, and I feel stuck. Financially, it’s like having golden handcuffs. They don’t charge me rent, don’t mind if I eat their food, and there are no real house rules. They mostly leave me alone, except when they need help with tech. The house is messy because they’re too old to care about organizing, and while it frustrates me, it’s not something I can fix on my own without their participation. Honestly, I can’t complain too much about the setup—it’s free, easy, and low-stress.
I make $90k working remotely, and while I could technically afford to move out, it would cost me $24k a year—money I don’t have to spend. I tell myself the only way I’d move out is if I found a $115k+ job far enough away to make it necessary. But every time I get close to landing one of those jobs, I’m rejected in the final round. It’s crushing. I start imagining the life I’d have—my own place, new furniture, a fresh start—only for it to fall apart.
This situation has made me deeply depressed. I don’t have friends or a social life because living with your parents at my age feels shameful, like something I can’t share with anyone. At the same time, the idea of spending $24k a year just to see my parents less feels like a waste, especially knowing they don’t have unlimited time left. People who’ve lost their parents always say they wish they had more time, and I get to have that—but it’s making me miserable.
I feel trapped. Staying makes me sad. Leaving makes me sad. I don’t know what to do.
This story you’re telling yourself about being trapped? It’s not the whole truth. You’re not stuck. You’re just comfortable. And comfort can be one of the most dangerous places to live, because it doesn’t demand change—it just quietly steals your hope over time.
Let’s call it what it is: you’ve got golden handcuffs on, but you’re the one holding the key. Your parents don’t charge you rent, and you’re saving a lot of money. That’s great. But saving money doesn’t mean much if it’s costing you your mental health, your relationships, and your sense of self. You’re staying because it’s easy, not because it’s right for you.
You make $90k a year working remotely. That’s not nothing—it’s a privilege. And while $24k a year for rent feels like a big hit, what’s the cost of staying put? Depression? Isolation? The belief that your life isn’t going anywhere? That price tag is way higher, my friend.
Stop waiting for the perfect job or the perfect moment. Stop building your escape around “if only” and “maybe someday.” The reality is, you can choose to move out now and start building the life you want. Will it be hard? Yeah. Will it be expensive? Sure. But will it be worth it to reclaim your independence, build some self-respect, and actually start living your life? Absolutely.
And let’s talk about your parents. I get it—you don’t want to waste the time you have with them. But living in their house isn’t the same thing as building a meaningful relationship with them. Right now, it sounds like you’re just coexisting under the same roof. You don’t have to live with them to love them. In fact, moving out might help you show up for them as a healthier, happier version of yourself.
The hard truth is this: you’re the only one who can change your situation. No job offer, no perfect opportunity, no external force is going to swoop in and rescue you. It’s on you to make a decision, even if it’s messy or imperfect.
Start small—find a place, take the financial hit, and remind yourself that you’re investing in your future, not just spending money. It’s not about running away from your parents; it’s about running toward the life you want.
You’ve got this. It’s going to take courage and hard work, but you’re stronger than you think. Don’t settle for comfort at the cost of your happiness. Make a move. Let’s go.