“You always need to be right”
I’ve heard this sentence directed at me from countless different people. It’s true, I do like to win an argument and be correct. However, I don’t really see how that’s such a negative thing. I think through the things I say and believe them to be right. I’m not going to stop believing them simply because you don’t. Think of a better argument than saying I only win because I want to win.
In the end I don’t want to be right, I want to know the right answer. I know I’m dumb and don’t have all the answers but that fact doesn’t win you the argument.
Anybody else in here considered a know-it-all or thick-skulled for needing to win arguments, when in reality you genuinely believe in your side and are open to be proven wrong?
Here’s the thing – I used to be exactly where you are. Every conversation felt like a battlefield where I had to plant my flag and defend it at all costs. I was exhausted from constantly being in “defend and prove” mode, though I didn’t realize it at the time.
But you know what? Something profound happened when I started to let go of that need to be right. It wasn’t about giving up on truth or rolling over in discussions. Instead, it was like taking off a heavy suit of armor I didn’t even know I was wearing.
I notice something interesting in your message – you say you want to know the right answer, not just be right. That’s actually a beautiful starting point for transformation. But here’s the twist: sometimes the “right answer” isn’t a single truth, but a deeper understanding that comes from truly hearing multiple perspectives.
When people call you “thick-skulled” or a “know-it-all,” they’re probably not really commenting on your intelligence or the validity of your arguments. They’re likely reacting to something else – perhaps feeling unheard or dismissed in conversations with you. I know because I used to get the same feedback.
Try this shift in perspective: What if you approached each discussion not as a debate to win, but as an exploration to understand? What if being “right” meant creating a space where both people feel heard and valued, even in disagreement?
Here’s the liberating truth I’ve learned: The moment you let go of needing to win every argument is the moment you start winning at something far more important – building genuine connections and understanding. And ironically, that’s when people become more open to hearing your perspective too.
You’re already showing wisdom by acknowledging you don’t have all the answers. That’s not weakness – it’s the foundation of true strength and growth. The question is: Are you ready to transform those intellectual debates from battlegrounds into bridges?