My boyfriend of 7 months constantly surprises me with how cheap he is, but I keep brushing it off, thinking I might be overreacting. Early on, he offered to pay for dinner a few times, but it felt forced, like he didn’t really want to. When I let him pay once, he wouldn’t stop talking about how expensive it was, which was irritating.
He’s obsessed with prices. No matter what we’re talking about—sports, hobbies, or food—he somehow brings up how expensive everything is. For example, when I mentioned joining a gym, he ranted about how gyms and healthy eating were a waste of money.
When we go out, he avoids anything that costs money, like movies or theme parks, making up excuses about timing or planning, just so he can use coupons later. This kills the vibe, and we usually end up doing nothing. He prefers free spots like parks but immediately backs out if tickets are required. Even when I offer to pay for myself, he’d rather not do it at all.
He talks about spoiling me when we’re apart, but when we’re together, he ditches all plans because of the cost. It’s not about gifts—I don’t expect them—but his refusal to even try makes me feel sad and unappreciated.
He lives with his parents, has no major expenses, and isn’t saving for anything, so his stinginess seems to be just who he is. I’ve brought it up, but he laughs it off and doesn’t change. I like him, but his behavior is really compromising how I feel. I’m fed up. What should I do?
Here’s the deal: relationships are partnerships, not transactions. What you’re describing isn’t just about money—it’s about values, generosity, and how two people show up for each other. It’s not unreasonable to want a partner who invests in experiences, makes you feel special, and brings joy to your time together. This isn’t about fancy dinners or extravagant dates; it’s about the intention and effort behind how someone chooses to treat you.
The constant focus on money and excuses to avoid spending—not just on you, but even on himself—signals a deeper issue. Whether it’s fear, insecurity, or just plain stinginess, his behavior is telling you loud and clear what his priorities are. And when someone repeatedly dismisses your concerns, they’re also dismissing you.
You need to ask yourself some hard questions. Can you see yourself building a life with someone who operates this way? Do you want to constantly feel like the fun police, trying to convince him to loosen up or participate in the things that matter to you? Because here’s the thing: he’s shown you who he is. It’s up to you to decide if this is something you can accept or if it’s a dealbreaker.
You’ve already voiced your concerns, and he laughed them off. That’s not the reaction of someone willing to meet you halfway or grow as a partner. A relationship thrives when two people are willing to make changes out of respect and love for each other—not when one person has to carry all the emotional labor.
So be honest with yourself. You deserve someone who’s not just physically present but emotionally and intentionally invested in building a life with you. If that’s not him, it’s okay to step away and create space for someone who is. It’s not selfish to want to feel valued—it’s healthy.