I was with my ex for 7 years she’s 36 and I miss her all the time, I look at other women and they all seem like downgrades in comparison to my ex. She was perfect, great ass, great boobs slim waist, nice face. Everything about her physically was great, the internal not so much since she cheated on me and was manipulative and abusive at times.
But part of me still wants her and I am extremely jealous of the guy she cheated on me with as he is now with her in a relationship.
Whilst I can’t find anyone or am attracted to anyone. It’s been 8 months and I just feel stuck fantasising about her and what she’s doing and how I am never going to be with a woman as hot as her ever again in my life.
Alright, listen up, man. I know this feels like the end of the world. Your ex was hot—no one’s denying that. She had the looks, the body, the whole package on the outside. But let’s get real: she wasn’t the dream girl you’re making her out to be. She cheated. She manipulated you. She was abusive. That’s not “perfect,” no matter how good she looked. That’s a disaster wrapped up in good genetics, and it’s time to stop worshiping her like she’s some unattainable goddess.
What’s keeping you stuck isn’t love—it’s your ego. It’s the jealousy, the comparison, and the story you’ve been telling yourself that she was the best you could ever have. She wasn’t. She was a lesson—a painful one—but a lesson nonetheless. And the sooner you accept that, the sooner you’ll get out of this rut.
Here’s the hard truth: your life isn’t going to get better if you keep obsessing over her. Right now, you’re pouring all your energy into a fantasy of her that isn’t real, while the real her is living rent-free in your head. Block her on social media. Delete the photos. Stop torturing yourself by wondering what she’s doing or who she’s with. You’ve got to cut the cord completely if you want to heal.
And let’s talk about where you go from here. You’re not stuck because she’s so amazing; you’re stuck because you’ve let her define your worth. That stops now. It’s time to start focusing on yourself. Hit the gym. Get serious about your goals. Pick up a new hobby. Build a life that’s so damn good, you don’t need anyone else to feel whole. Confidence isn’t about pretending you’re fine—it’s about putting in the work to actually be fine.
And for the love of all things good, raise your standards. Stop acting like physical attraction is the only thing that matters. Yeah, you want to be attracted to your partner, but what about kindness? Loyalty? Respect? You deserve someone who’s not just a pretty face but an actual partner—a person who will build a life with you, not tear you down.
Healing from this isn’t going to be easy. It’s going to take time. Therapy can help. Journaling can help. Leaning on friends who remind you of your worth will help. But none of it works unless you’re ready to let her go and start believing that you deserve better.
You’re better than this. Start acting like it. Rewrite your story, one decision at a time, and stop letting someone who disrespected you hold you back from the life you’re meant to have.