My (35F) best friend (36M) met his now-wife two years ago, and I haven’t seen him since. Before that, we were really close—we talked and hung out all the time. There was never anything romantic between us, just a solid friendship.
When he met her, he gradually stopped responding to me. At first, I understood, but after a few months, I started wondering why he didn’t want me to meet her. Out of the blue, he mentioned they were wedding planning. I was shocked—they were engaged, and I had no idea! I wasn’t invited to the wedding, which was a year ago, and none of our mutual friends were either.
Since then, I’ve tried repeatedly to reconnect. He always says he’s busy and never follows through. It’s not just me—he’s ghosted our entire friend group, both male and female. So, it doesn’t seem like his wife is the issue.
I’m torn. Do I take the hint and move on? Call him out? Or keep trying, hoping he’ll eventually make time? Any advice?
Here’s the hard truth: you’ve been ghosted, and that sucks. It’s painful when someone you cared about—someone you considered a best friend—just disappears from your life without an explanation. But you need to stop trying to decode his behavior and start focusing on you.
People change. Life changes. Sometimes relationships drift apart because of new priorities, insecurities, or even just laziness. None of that makes it okay to ghost an entire friend group, but it does mean his behavior likely has everything to do with him and nothing to do with you.
So, what do you do now?
First, grieve the loss. This friendship meant a lot to you, and it’s okay to be hurt and disappointed. But don’t let that pain turn into resentment. Forgive him—not because he’s asked for it or deserves it, but because holding onto anger will only weigh you down.
Next, decide how much more energy you’re willing to give. You can send one final message—something simple like, “Hey, I miss our friendship. If you ever want to reconnect, I’m here.” Then let it go. Don’t keep chasing someone who’s not putting in the effort. You deserve friendships where the care and effort go both ways.
Finally, lean into the people who do show up for you. Your mutual friend group, your family, your other relationships—those are the ones that matter. Don’t let one person’s actions overshadow all the love and support you have in your life.
It’s okay to feel hurt, but don’t waste your life trying to figure out someone else’s choices. Let go, move forward, and surround yourself with people who value and respect you. You’re worth that.