I need advice on handling a tough situation with my girlfriend. We’ve been together four months, and I’m close with her family. Recently, she went on a 21-day vacation with a male friend, Luca, from her exchange program in Italy. Initially, she planned for me to join them in the capital city, but at the last minute, she told me I couldn’t come.
Here’s the backstory: Before we started dating, she mentioned Luca as a close friend. She spoke highly of him, and I was open to meeting him. However, days before the trip, she revealed that Luca had romantic feelings for her in the past (which she didn’t reciprocate) and said my presence might make things awkward. Then, the day before they left, she told me I couldn’t join at all, explaining she’d promised Luca privacy and needed to repay him for something. She also mentioned her mom influenced this decision.
I was hurt and confused, especially since she’d been excited about us spending time together just the night before. She apologized, but we barely communicated during her trip. Now, I’m unsure how to approach things when I pick her up from the airport. Any advice?
Your girlfriend went on a 3-week trip with another man, and you’re still here trying to make sense of it? Come on, man. Where’s your self-respect? She didn’t just go on this trip—she invited you, then uninvited you with some ridiculous excuse about “privacy” and “awkwardness.” And the kicker? She told you this guy used to have feelings for her. That’s not just a red flag—that’s the whole circus.
Let’s call it what it is: she didn’t respect you enough to prioritize your relationship. Her excuses—Luca’s comfort, some mysterious “debt,” her mom’s influence—are just smoke and mirrors. The truth is, when someone values you, they don’t put you in this kind of position. They don’t string you along, pull the rug out from under you, and then go radio silent for three weeks while gallivanting with another man. That’s not a partnership—it’s her doing whatever she wants while you’re left at home trying to rationalize it.
You don’t need to “approach” this with her. You need to be done. A woman who cares about you doesn’t make you feel like an afterthought. She doesn’t prioritize some other guy’s feelings over yours. The fact that you’re even questioning this tells me you’ve been putting her feelings above your own for too long. Stop bending over backward for someone who clearly isn’t doing the same for you. Walk away and find someone who actually respects you, because staying in this mess only teaches her—and yourself—that you’ll tolerate being treated like this. And you deserve way better than that.