Their daughter leaves from their backyard after 11pm and cuts thru our yard and driveway almost every night (to avoid their camera). She walks to the corner and gets picked up by the same car and gets dropped off after sunrise and sneaks back thru the gate. Our cameras going off wake us at night as we would like to know if someone is outside our house with bad intentions. It used to happen every once in a while but it’s been every night recently.
We don’t have a relationship with these neighbors, talked to them once when we got one of their packages and opened it before realizing it wasn’t ours. Was a very short interaction, not sure if it was a language barrier or if they just aren’t super friendly.
I don’t want them to think I’m being nosey but I feel like they would want to know if their kid is sneaking out and staying out all night regularly. And we’re tired of waking up a bit after falling asleep every night.
Yes, you should tell them.
Here’s why—first, this isn’t about being a nosy neighbor. This is about safety—both yours and theirs. Their teenage daughter is sneaking out, getting into a car with someone, and staying out until sunrise. That’s a recipe for disaster. I don’t care if she thinks she’s just having fun, or if she believes she’s invincible—bad things happen in the middle of the night, especially to teenagers who think they’re in control of situations they aren’t.
Second, it’s also about your own peace of mind. Your cameras are going off every night, waking you up, making you wonder if someone is breaking into your yard. That’s not fair to you or your sleep.
Now, the tricky part: how to tell them. Since you don’t really have a relationship with them, I’d keep it short, direct, and neutral—no accusations, no assumptions, just the facts. Something like:
Hey, I just wanted to give you a heads-up that our security cameras have been picking up your daughter sneaking through our yard at night and getting into a car at the corner. We weren’t sure if you knew, but it’s been happening pretty much every night, and we figured you’d want to be aware.
That’s it. You’re not lecturing them, you’re not calling their kid a delinquent, and you’re not demanding they change anything. You’re just giving them information they can do with as they please.
Now, they might get defensive. They might ignore you. They might be grateful. You can’t control their reaction. But you can control what you tolerate on your own property and what kind of neighbor you want to be.
So yeah, tell them. It’s the right thing to do.