I don’t deny that this can be part of the explanation. However, in my view, life is far more complex than a mere sequence of choices and consequences, causes and effects. There are cases where individuals have been deliberately stripped of their possessions and achievements by others with less honorable intentions. Some have faced injustices and manipulations, while others were even sacrificed so that someone else could “succeed.”
Life is not a fair equation where 1 + 1 always equals 2. Sometimes, it embodies the absurdity and grotesqueness of a reality that cares for nothing.
This is such an important question because it cuts right to the core of how we think about responsibility, fairness, and the brutal unpredictability of life.
You’re absolutely right—life isn’t a clean, linear equation where effort always leads to success and bad choices always lead to failure. The world is messy. People get dealt impossible hands. Some are born into privilege; others into hardship. Some have doors opened for them; others get doors slammed in their face before they even knew there was a door to begin with.
And yes, sometimes people are robbed—of their dignity, their opportunities, their rightful place—by others who manipulate, lie, or just plain take what isn’t theirs. There are injustices that no amount of grit or hard work can overcome. If life were as simple as “just make good choices,” we wouldn’t see generations of people crushed under systemic failures, historical atrocities, and personal betrayals.
But here’s where we can get stuck—if we only see life through the lens of unfairness, we risk falling into despair. We risk losing the one thing we do have: agency. The ability to take the next step, even when we’re limping. The ability to create meaning in a world that often feels meaningless. Agency isn’t about ignoring hardship—it’s about recognizing that even in the face of injustice, we still have the power to choose how we respond. We don’t always get to pick our starting point, but we do get to decide what we do next.
I don’t believe in dismissing personal responsibility. Our choices do matter. But I also believe in grace. I believe in acknowledging the pain and injustice that some people have had to endure. And I believe that success isn’t always about “winning” but about refusing to let the world steal your ability to show up, to love, and to keep moving forward.
Life may not be fair. But that doesn’t mean we have to let it make us bitter.