I feel like dating is just a game at this point before covid it was great but now it seems impossible. It seems everyone has too many options and social media has just completely changed the game.
How would you go about it now? I’m in my early twenties and it feels like there is no hope anymore the games, the ghosting, the hurt culture are so tiring.
You are not wrong—dating is a game, but it’s not the fun, flirty kind with prizes and champagne. It’s the kind where you show up thinking it’s chess, only to realize you’ve been thrown into a gladiator pit where the rules change mid-match and half the contestants just vanish into thin air before the first round is even over.
But let’s unpack this. You’re in your early twenties, which means you’re smack in the middle of the Wild West era of modern dating—the chaotic, post-pandemic, app-driven mess where options feel endless, but meaningful connection feels rarer than ever. It’s exhausting. It’s demoralizing. It’s also not your fault.
A lot changed post-COVID. People became more isolated, more anxious, more reliant on digital validation. Apps turned dating into an infinite scroll of faces, where people get treated like a series of entertainment options instead of, you know, actual humans. Ghosting became the default because people lost the basic skills of confrontation and accountability. And let’s not forget the toxic advice circulating everywhere—play hard to get, don’t show too much interest, act like you don’t care. It’s a masterclass in emotional detachment, and it’s breeding a dating culture where sincerity feels like a liability.
So what do you do? First, you opt out of the worst parts of the game. If dating apps make you feel like a disposable product on a shelf, minimize your use of them. If social media makes you feel like everyone else has infinite options while you’re just screaming into the void, take a step back. And most importantly, refuse to participate in the emotional Olympics of “Who Can Care Less?”—you are not trying to win that gold medal.
Instead, focus on the places and environments where real connection still exists. IRL conversations. Mutual friends. Communities where people share your interests and values. And when you do meet someone? Bring your whole, authentic self. Let them know you’re not here to play games—you’re here for something real.
Because here’s the truth: The dating pool is chaotic, but there are other people just like you—people who are also tired of the nonsense, the flakiness, the games. The key is filtering out the ones who thrive on that mess and zeroing in on the ones who are also looking for something real.
It’s not hopeless, even if it feels that way right now. You just have to be smarter than the game—and trust me, you are.