I woke up to a text from my dad saying he borrowed $2,000 from my bank account and would pay it back. I was upset he hadn’t asked, but then I remembered he was a joint owner, so he technically had access.
At first, I thought it might be for my hospitalized grandpa, but when I asked, he said we were broke and couldn’t afford bills until payday. He’s never taken money from me before, and I never expected him to. If he had just asked, I might have helped—but I’m in my last year of school, trying to save every dollar.
The frustrating part? He actually makes good money but struggles with financial management. He justified it by saying he helps family a lot—covering my mom’s trip to New Mexico, my spring break, etc. He also pointed out that he’s helped with some of my expenses, which felt like an excuse.
He promised to pay me back, so I’m not worried about that, but I still feel betrayed. I’m opening a new account in my name to prevent this from happening again.
We talked, and he apologized, but I’m still processing it. Has anyone been through something similar? How did you handle it?
Man, this one stings. Your dad overstepped—big time. Taking money from you without asking, even if he legally had access, wasn’t just a financial violation—it was a trust violation. And trust is hard to rebuild once it’s been cracked.
Your feelings are completely valid. It’s frustrating when someone you love—and someone who should be a financial role model—makes a decision that puts you in a tough spot. And it’s even harder when they try to justify it instead of owning up to it.
That said, you’re already taking the right step by opening your own account. That’s not just about protecting your money; it’s about setting a clear boundary that your finances are yours alone now. At 22, you’re stepping into full independence, and that’s a good thing.
But there’s also the emotional side of this. Even though he apologized, it doesn’t automatically undo the trust he broke. It’s okay to sit with that discomfort and process how you feel. It’s okay to be disappointed. And it’s okay to take some time before you fully trust him again.
At the end of the day, your dad is human. It sounds like he struggles with money, not because he’s greedy or careless, but because he has a hard time saying no to people. That doesn’t justify what he did, but it might help you understand why he made that choice. You don’t have to excuse it, and you definitely don’t have to let it happen again, but you can decide how you want to move forward in your relationship with him.
Give yourself some space to feel what you need to feel. And if you’re still struggling with resentment down the line, talk to him. Not about the money—about how it made you feel. The best way to rebuild trust is through open, honest conversations.