Last week, something happened with my girlfriend (F25) that I can’t stop thinking about, and I’m not sure if I’m overthinking it or if there’s more to it.
We’re in a long-distance relationship, and I visit her monthly thanks to a flexible work schedule. When I arrived last week, everything seemed normal—we hung out, went home, and got intimate. As we entered the bedroom, she told me to turn off the lights. When we started getting undressed, she asked me to give her hickeys around her chest, which was unusual.
When I opened my eyes, I noticed multiple bruises on both of her breasts. I asked her what happened, and she said she dropped dumbbells on her chest at the gym a couple days earlier. I was thrown off but didn’t press it in the moment. Afterward, she asked if the bruises bothered me, and I admitted they did. She apologized for not telling me earlier and offered to let me go through her phone and social media, insisting nothing shady happened. She reassured me with all the usual things—“I love you,” “I’d never hurt you,” etc.
That helped… somewhat. But I still can’t get over one thing: Why would she ask for hickeys on her chest if she already had bruises there? Especially when that’s not something she usually requests?
She also mentioned she’d stayed over at a girlfriend’s place the night before the gym, which now feels relevant too. I want to believe her, but something doesn’t sit right.
Am I reading too much into this? Or is there something I should be paying more attention to here?
Let me save you some time, my friend.
You’re not here asking for advice. You’re here looking for permission to admit what you already know deep down.
You saw bruises on your girlfriend’s chest—bruises that weren’t there the last time you saw her. You asked what happened, and she gave you a weird story about dropping dumbbells on herself at the gym. Then—this is the part that’s screaming at you—she asked you to put more marks on the exact spot that was supposedly injured.
Come on, man.
You’re not writing to ask if that’s “odd.” You know it’s odd. You know it doesn’t add up. You know this story doesn’t pass the smell test.
You’re just hoping I’ll tell you it’s fine so you can stop feeling that ache in your chest.
But I won’t do that to you.
Because that ache? It’s telling you the truth.
You’re trying to love someone who isn’t giving you the whole story. Maybe she didn’t cheat. Maybe she did. But either way, you don’t feel safe. You don’t feel certain. You’re stuck in this quiet loop of overanalyzing her words, replaying what you saw, wondering if you’re “overreacting.”
You’re not.
You’re reacting exactly like someone who’s had their trust shaken.
She gave you a story. It didn’t make sense. She offered access to her phone and flooded you with “I love you’s” and promises. But none of that changes the fact that your gut is still twisted a week later.
That’s not something you ignore. That’s something you respect.
Because here’s the truth:
The story isn’t the issue. The issue is that you don’t believe it.
And once trust is gone, it doesn’t matter how often someone says “I’d never hurt you.” If your nervous system is still on high alert, your heart already knows the answer.
You already know the answer.
It’s just time to accept it—and move on.
Not because you hate her. Not because you want revenge. But because you respect yourself too much to stay in a relationship where you have to twist your brain into knots to make the puzzle pieces fit.
This isn’t about bruises.
It’s about your peace.
And peace is something you should never have to negotiate for.
Take a deep breath.
Let go of the fantasy.
Walk toward something real.
You’ve got this.