"My girlfriend cheated but I don't feel hurt by it at all"

I’ve been struggling with something in my relationship and could use some clarity.

Recently, my girlfriend was unfaithful at a party. Strangely, I’m not angry or heartbroken—and I don’t want to break up. This reaction has shocked my closest friends, who think I’m making a huge mistake and not standing up for myself.

For context, I’ve always been introverted—more into coding and anime than social scenes—and I’ve never pictured a traditional life with marriage or kids. I see relationships as valuable if they make you happy, regardless of how long they last. I’d never cheat, but I also don’t feel the intense betrayal others often do in these situations.

My girlfriend and I connected over shared interests, and I was upfront from the beginning about my lack of relationship experience and nontraditional views on love. When I found out about the cheating, I felt calm. We talked, she apologized, and I emphasized open communication going forward—mainly for safety reasons.

The hardest part has been my friends’ reactions. They think I’m staying out of low self-esteem or fear. I know they care, but their views don’t really align with mine, and their pushback has planted some doubt.

Is it wrong to stay in a relationship that still makes me happy, even if it doesn’t look “right” to everyone else?

I’m going to talk to you like a friend who cares about you, not like someone who’s here to pat you on the back and say, “It’s all good.”

You said your girlfriend cheated on you and your response was… nothing. No anger. No heartbreak. No feeling of betrayal. You just kind of shrugged and kept going. That doesn’t make you emotionally evolved—it makes me wonder if you’ve gone numb to your own needs. That kind of disconnection doesn’t come out of nowhere. Somewhere along the way, you probably learned to silence your gut in order to keep the peace or avoid pain.

You also mentioned your friends—guys who clearly care about you—called you out. And instead of reflecting on it, you brushed them off as having “traditional views.” Let me say this clearly: being treated with respect isn’t a “traditional” idea. It’s a baseline. If your best friends are waving red flags and you’re choosing to intellectualize it instead of feel it, that’s a problem.

Now, I’m not going to tell you to leave or stay. That’s your decision. But I am going to ask: Do you trust yourself? Because all this talk about “not believing in betrayal” and “relationships being good as long as you’re happy” sounds like a guy trying really hard to convince himself he’s fine—when he’s not.

Here’s the truth, brother: relationships require trust, honesty, and a deep respect for one another. If cheating doesn’t even register for you, then either (1) you’re in denial, or (2) you’ve shut off part of your humanity to avoid dealing with rejection, abandonment, or shame.

So ask yourself:

Do I really feel safe and seen in this relationship?
Am I staying because I’m genuinely fulfilled—or because I’m scared no one else will love me?
If someone I loved deeply told me this same story, what would I tell them?

Stop outsourcing your self-worth to your intellect or your philosophy on relationships. Your heart matters. Your body is screaming at you to feel something, and you’re putting it on mute.

Wake up. Get honest. And then decide what comes next.