Me and a friend (both 20F) and our guy friend(21M) recently had a sleepover where we all got drunk and listened to a Jubilee Truth or Drink episode to start a juicy convo. A question came up saying “If we were single, would we hook up?” Bro immediately said yes. Meanwhile my friend(who is taken) and I(single) both paused and answered no. We just continued our night but both mentally noted this.
When we woke up the next morning and he asked nervously if we had remembered the night before. Bro yes we remember, we weren’t THAT drunk. My friend and I had a serious conversation about this the next day about how off put we felt about this because we both had the assumption that we were all like siblings or at the least very good friends. Now we feel like we can’t overlook this revelation. Is he just playing the long game? Does he / has he ever really viewed us as friends or just as potential relationships?
He has admitted to liking us before at different times.
So basically we want advice on how to proceed with this friendship. Should we distance ourselves or confront him about how his answer made us feel? Any advice is appreciated and welcomed!
You’re 20. He’s 21. You’re all young, figuring life out, and part of that means bumping into the messiness of emotions, attraction, and friendships that aren’t always as black-and-white as we’d like them to be.
You’re feeling off because the vibe you thought you had with this guy—platonic, sibling-like, safe—got disrupted by a moment of honesty. And yeah, alcohol was involved, which lowers filters but often raises truth.
But here’s the thing: he didn’t cross a boundary. He didn’t confess his undying love. He didn’t make a move on you. He answered a hypothetical question with a hypothetical answer. You asked a juicy question during a game literally designed to spill truths, and he told the truth. You’re single. He finds you attractive. That doesn’t make him a creep—it makes him human.
And if we’re being real here—he’s already told you in the past he’s liked you. So you’re not mad because this is new. You’re mad because you thought that part of the story was over, and it turns out it might not be. And that brings up an uncomfortable truth: sometimes, the people we think are “just friends” are carrying a little more than friendship in their back pocket.
That doesn’t mean he’s been plotting or that he doesn’t value your friendship. It means he’s 21, and attraction exists. That’s not betrayal. That’s biology.
So what do you do?
Talk to him. Not a dramatic “we need to talk” showdown. Just an honest, chill conversation: “Hey, what you said the other night made us realize maybe we weren’t on the same page about this friendship. Can we just be super clear about where everyone stands so nobody’s misreading signals?”
And then you decide. If you’re cool with him being attracted to you but not acting on it—and he respects that boundary—cool, friendship preserved. But if you feel like you can’t trust his intentions anymore, it’s okay to take a step back.
Friendship isn’t about pretending attraction doesn’t exist. It’s about respecting boundaries even when attraction does exist.
You’re not wrong for feeling weird. But don’t crucify the guy for answering a question you asked honestly. Clarity will fix what overthinking won’t.
You’ve got this.