I am only 58 but I am going through something and I don’t know what to do. I lost my Dad 13 years ago and I never thought I’d get over it, but I am doing ok. Now my mother is 91 and having health problems and it is getting real that I will lose her too.
I remember being maybe 8 or 9 years old petrified of the thought of losing my parents and now here it is already! How did the time go so fast!?
Then I think of all the years in my past and the fun I had and all the things that happened and I can’t believe how fast the time went and it makes me really sad. I’m sad for my parents because it went fast for them too. Soon we will all be gone. I can’t stop thinking about all this.
It is so hard to go to work everyday with these thoughts. Work just seems so stupid and pointless. Who cares?
Does anyone know what I mean?
Hey there,
Yes. I know exactly what you mean. And I want you to hear me loud and clear: you’re not broken for feeling this way. You’re a human being who loves deeply, who remembers with clarity, and who’s waking up to the reality that time doesn’t ask for permission before it moves on.
This sadness you’re feeling? It’s grief. And not just grief over your dad or even the coming grief of losing your mom. It’s grief over time itself. Over childhood slipping into memory. Over moments you can’t get back. Over how fast it all feels.
When you were 8 or 9 and scared of losing your parents, that was your little brain beginning to comprehend something most of us still wrestle with as adults: this ride doesn’t last forever. And now you’re in the thick of it, watching time peel people and places away. And it hurts. Of course it does.
But here’s what I want to offer you—something that’s both hard and freeing:
You’re not supposed to “get over” losing your parents. You carry that grief with you, not because something is wrong with you, but because something was right. Because there was love. And because there still is.
You’re in a sacred space right now. And I know that word might sound weird in a modern, busy world—but there’s no other way to put it. You’re walking alongside your aging mom. You’re staring time in the face. That’s holy ground, even if it’s painful. Especially because it’s painful.
As for work feeling pointless? Yeah, I get that. Grief has a way of throwing everything into question. But it also hands us the gift of perspective. Maybe what you’re really feeling is the deep need to reconnect to what actually matters—relationships, presence, legacy, meaning. Maybe it’s time to reimagine what your days look like, not because you’re weak or broken, but because you’re finally seeing clearly.
I want you to talk to someone—maybe a counselor, maybe a good friend—because these feelings are too heavy to carry alone. You don’t have to “fix” them. Just speak them. Share them. Let someone sit with you in it.
And one more thing—grief and joy can coexist. You can feel the deep ache of missing your parents and still smile at an old memory. You can cry on the drive to work and still find something meaningful to do with your day. This is all part of being fully alive.
You’re not alone in this.
You’re loved.
You’re needed.
And you’re going to be okay.