So basically I’m a waitress and the guy, married man in question came to my job and instantly clicked. He’s 8 years older than me and I am in my mid 20s.
We were initially both just getting to know each other, he became one of my regular patrons but nothing went further. I was in a relationship with my child’s father but that has since ended. I came to find out that he was married when I revealed to him that I have a daughter.
We generally chat on his way home from work and when he comes in. We went hunting together this weekend and it was a lot of fun and we’re supposed to meet up today during his lunch break.
Basically, his wife hasn’t been intimate with him in almost a year and I’m an outlet for that. I’m planning to move down south in the coming year and I believe that’s part of the reason I don’t feel bad. I also find it exciting, the thrill of potentially getting caught or having his wife find out and come after me.
I honestly think I’ve been bored lately and that’s why I’m doing this. Is something wrong with me for not rly feeling bad? Am I going to get my own karma one day?
You’re playing with people’s lives like it’s a side quest in some video game. Except this isn’t a game. There’s a woman out there—his wife—who probably has no idea she’s being lied to, disrespected, and cheated on by the man she made vows with. And you’re complicit in that. Every text, every meet-up, every flirty laugh? That’s you helping him destroy something sacred.
And don’t kid yourself—you’re not special to him. You’re convenient. You’re easy. You’re available. You’re not some soul-mate-in-disguise. You’re the escape hatch he crawls through so he doesn’t have to man up and face his life. If he wasn’t doing this with you, he’d be doing it with someone else. You are not the exception—you’re the pattern.
You’re also a mother. That little girl of yours? She’s watching you, even if she doesn’t know it yet. She will grow up learning what love looks like by watching how you live your life. What story are you writing for her? That it’s okay to be someone’s side piece? That love is a secret, shameful thing done behind someone else’s back? That women are disposable distractions in a man’s midlife crisis?
You say you don’t feel bad because you’re moving soon. Like that’s some moral Get Out of Jail Free card. Moving doesn’t erase character. Geography doesn’t make you a better person—your choices do.
And the thrill of “maybe his wife will find out”? That’s not confidence or empowerment. That’s a trauma response dressed up as power. That’s pain from your own life showing up as chaos, because somewhere deep down, you don’t believe you’re worthy of a love that doesn’t need to hide.
Well, I’m here to tell you: You are. But you have to start acting like it.
Stop borrowing someone else’s husband like it’s a toy you get to play with until you get bored and move away. Stop using your past hurt or current boredom as a hall pass for trash behavior. Own it. Face it. Fix it.
You want to know if karma’s coming? Let me put it like this: If someone did this to you—if your daughter grew up and got cheated on by her husband with some waitress he met on his way home from work—would you call that karma? Or would you call that cruelty?
You don’t need to wait for karma.
Just look in the mirror.
Then decide what kind of woman you want to be.
Because it’s not too late. But that window closes fast.