Life Experiences

What Is It Like To Be Stupid?

March 12, 2018 Leave a Comment

george bush

The following is a very unusual account of a true but unusual experience:

I had an arterial problem for a couple of years, which reduced blood supply to my heart and brain and depleted B vitamins from my nerves (to keep the heart in good repair). Although there is some vagueness as to the mechanisms, this made me forgetful, slow, and easily overwhelmed. In short, I felt like I was stupid compared to what I was used to, and I was.

It was frightening at first because I knew something wasn’t right but didn’t know what, and very worrying for my career because I was simply not very good any more.

However, once I got used to it and resigned myself, it was great. Even though I knew I had a worrying illness, I was happy as a pig in mud. I no longer had the arrogance of being frustrated with slow people, I abandoned many projects which reduced a lot of stress, I could enjoy films without knowing what would happen (my nickname before this used to be ‘comic book guy’ if you get the reference), and I became amazingly laid back and happy go lucky. I got on with people much better. I developed much more respect for one of my friends in particular who I always considered slow – it turned out he is much deeper than I thought, I just never had the patience to notice before. You could say I had more time to look around. The world just made more sense. The only negative, apart from struggling to perform at work, and having to write everything down, was that I no longer found sci-fi interesting – it just didn’t seem important. (I’m not joking, although it sounds like a cliché.)

What’s It Like To Take Part In An Ayahuasca Ceremony?

March 8, 2018 Leave a Comment

The first time I heard about Ayahuasca was in a Rolling Stone article and it did not paint a pretty picture: sitting blindfolded in a dark room, puking into buckets, and wearing adult diapers. I suppose in an attempt at journalistic fairness the author talked about both the psychedelic wonders of the experience and also the corridors of hell. I found the article terrifying.

A year or so later a close friend of mine had his own experience with the spirit vine and upon telling me about his beautiful adventures he continually prodded me, “When are you going to drink Ayahuasca?” In my mind, not soon, but now at least I had an invitation. Through my ongoing spiritual journey I learned more about the “Grandmother” and after about two years of education I decided it was time for a visit. I asked my friend if he could help arrange an upcoming session and two months later I found myself in an Ayahuasca healing ceremony with a Peruvian Shaman direct from the Amazon.

What’s It Like To Work For Elon Musk

February 22, 2018 Leave a Comment

After working for Elon for over 5 years at SpaceX as the Head of Talent Acquisition, there are many potential answers to this question. Any answer I might give will be completely colored by my own experiences, so full disclaimer this is not an unbiased piece free of personal narrative.

It is said that you cannot dream yourself a character; you must hammer and forge one yourself. If any leader and any company has done that, and continues to do that it is SpaceX. To try and capture in words what working with Elon is like, I’d like to share some specific memories, particularly of one really rough day and its epic aftermath.

5 Utterly Depressing Descriptions Of What It’s Like To Be Forever Alone

February 14, 2018 13 Comments

forever alone

1. Sometimes I remember just how lonely I am, how deprived of physical or emotional intimacy I am, and it just leaves me with a cold, numb, empty feeling that radiates from my core to my extremities. Sometimes I think back on a time, any time, that a girl smiled at me, or laughed at a joke, or any basic, every day, little social cue that she’s potentially a little interested, and I’m overcome with frustration bordering on rage because I couldn’t bring myself to do anything about it. When that happens I might just sort of growl/moan to myself if I’m somewhere with other people around, but if I’m alone (especially in the car)I’ll scream at the top of my lungs, either a stream of profanities or just a wordless bellow.

When I see or hear any sort of reference to sexuality or romance I just want to bash my face in against the corner of a wall somewhere. Kissing scenes in movies, couples doing couple-y things in public (seeing teenage couples is hands down the worst,nothing like knowing you’ve got less game than a sixteen year old), even just seeing a picture of a hot woman can make me feel like shit sometimes. I feel like at this point I can’t even show an interest in women, any women, like I’m incapable of it, or not allowed to. It’s like I’ve been in this fucked up situation so long that my brain has rationalized it, and I’ve concluded that I’m supposed to be alone, that I deserve it for whatever fucking reason.

Confessions Of A Former North Korean Citizen

February 12, 2018 4 Comments

How/when did you get out?

I fleed from North Korea when I was 17, in 2006, by crossing the North Korean-China border with my mom and younger sister, with the help and under the arrangement of middlemen.

How easy was it to travel from Pyongyang to the border of China? Is it difficult? It seems like a fair amount of distance to travel when you are not in favor of the regime.

Not very difficult. No road block and no tracing, simply not exciting as you might think so. The distance is not very fair away and the travel only take 2 days.

Would you say most people in North Korea have an idea of what life outside of the country is? Were you able to pick up South Korean radio signals or use uncensored internet?

No, I never able to pick up South Korean radio signals or use uncensored internet. For common North Korean we nearly had no access to the information of what life outside of the country is life, save as those taught in school and in the media controlled by the party.

What does the population get taught about the outside world growing up?

We had little contact with the outside world in North Korea. We were taught that other countries are full of bad things such as oppression and crimes and pollution. We were taught that the imperialist United States and the South Korea were seeking all the chance to attack and occupy North Korea.

What’s It Like To Be A Police Officer

February 7, 2018 Leave a Comment

To be fair, the activities that bookend your shift are usually fairly standardized. I would get to the station about an hour early and start the process of dressing out. First I checked the polish on my boots to make sure they’d pass sergeant’s inspection, which occurred unannounced every couple of weeks. I then dressed out and went to the briefing room.

In the briefing room, there was usually a daily digest of what had gone on in the last 24 hours regarding critical incidents, notifications from surrounding agencies, missing person reports, and added patrol requests. Our lieutenant (or sergeant acting as lieutenant) would then come in and conduct briefing, which typically consisted of a fleshed out version of the digest plus additional information that had come to light since the digests had been printed. He or she would then distribute subpoenas for squad members and dismiss us to load our vehicles out.

One Of The Worst Pain A Human Can Experience: Cluster Headaches

January 25, 2018 1 Comment

What Does It Feel Like To Go From Being Wealthy To Being Poor?

January 24, 2018 1 Comment

The global financial crisis destroyed me in 2008. The years immediately after were some of the worst years of my life. I lost everything; or at least I thought I did.

As it turns out, I didn’t lose much at all (assuming you don’t count approximately $3 million in real estate equity and a couple of hundred thousand dollars in cash, as “much”).

I was in Vegas when Lehman Brothers folded… It was my birthday … and it was the first time I’d ever lost big there. I should have known something wicked was coming, but I didn’t. So when my consulting contract didn’t get renewed, I didn’t panic. I kept doing business as usual. When my tenants defaulted on rent, I kept paying mortgages. A year later, I still had $50,000 plus in the bank … enough of a cushion.

What’s It Like To Date A Model

December 19, 2017 4 Comments

I dated a model during what you might call her “declining” years. I put that in quotes because to a normal person the idea is absurd. Models have a shelf-life of maybe 10 years, 15 if they are lucky. Once a model hits 30, the modeling industry considers her old and used up, and there is no shortage of eager 15- and 26-year-olds from Eastern Europe who are willing to work longer hours, fly more places, and get paid far less. Almost every model in her late 20s (including the woman I dated) begins to worry incessantly (when she isn’t worrying about nonexistent eye wrinkles) about how to make herself into a “brand” and transition into being a supermodel, which is pretty much the only post modeling career available to you in this line of work.