Caveman Circus
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“I’ll be happy when I get a girlfriend.”
“If I just wasn’t coming home to an empty house then life would be so much better.”
“I need to have someone who loves me before I will feel better about myself.”
It’s hard to tell someone in quicksand to stop flailing to get out. Loneliness and sadness can make happily ever after sound very tempting regardless of where it comes from.
[Read more…] about If You’re Not Happy Alone Then You Won’t Be Happy In A Relationship
Truth be told, online dating used to be brutal for me. Dating involves some measure of rejection. It’s not for the thin-skinned. I used to wring my hands writing carefully curated emails to all the hot chicks on a site. It was a part-time job going through all the profiles of girls living in Chicago.
I can’t predict when you’ll find love, but I’m confident that you won’t find the girl of your dreams while staying home and playing with yourself. So get back online and keep looking.
I estimate in 10 years, I sent messages to thousands of women. I’ll use 1,000 in the theoretical example below to show how rough it was:
How do I know if I’m good in bed? It’s a question we all ask ourselves from time to time but hardly ever ask other people, probably partly because we are afraid of what they will say.
In general, we all think we are good in bed. After all, there is no evidence to the contrary is there? Nobody runs away halfway through, or deletes us on Facebook the day after. No, all the information points to a godlike stature in the sack and who are we to argue?
Obviously we can’t send out a survey or questionnaire to our past and present lovers. It would be bad-taste to re-friend our college girlfriend on Facebook just to ask her the question. And so the question remains:
How do I know if I’m good in bed?
Sometimes women will be direct and tell you when they’re not interested. Most of the time, however, they’re much more subtle. This unfortunately causes many men to chase women that they shouldn’t waste their time on.
You can try to rationalize why girls are denying your advances and ignoring you. You can think, “There must be some other reason why things aren’t going anywhere.” You probably have a hard time accepting that a woman’s just not interested.
And when you finally realize the truth, you refuse to let go. You try everything in your power to change a woman’s mind. But by the time you’re getting the cold shoulder, it’s usually too late. A woman knows early on whether or not she’s attracted to you.
[Read more…] about The Daily Man-Up: 7 Signs She’s Just Not That Into You
4 Simple Ways To Make Sure That You Avoid The Friend Zone
One of the most common ways to friend zone yourself is to neglect flirting with her. Instead of flirting, most guys settle for befriending her.
That’s great, but if you’re not careful, you’ll convince her that you’re not interested in “that way,” and she’ll mentally classify you as a friend.
Now your job just got 100 times harder.
You know your partner is the right one to marry when you love them, are willing to make sacrifices for their happiness, they are willing to make sacrifices for your happiness, and you have thoroughly and exhaustively discussed and considered the following list of items which frequently lead to marital strife and divorce.
(photo: @reka)
Many men have fragile egos when it comes to women. I’m not judging, my pride used to get the best of me, too. I couldn’t handle the reality of being rejected or losing a girl — it was one of my worst fears. I lived with a scarcity mentality.
Scarcity mentality is the belief that there’s a limited number of opportunities in your life. With women, if you miss out on a single chance, you’ll never get another like it. What happens is that you view your connections as win or lose situations. It’s black or white:
“If I don’t get this girl, I’m a failure and a loser. I’ll be alone forever. But if I do, I’m a real man and a winner.”
You then do everything in your power to “win” girls over. You will chase endlessly, pretend to be a friend for months or years, disrespect your time, and even let yourself get walked over — all because you can’t let go of this one girl.
[Read more…] about The Daily Man-Up: Why You Should Learn to Walk Away
(photo: @doran_erickson)
For any guy that needs to hear this whether they are having troubles in dating or life in general. Just know that you are a trophy that is to be won as well.
Often many men will put beautiful they see/meet on a pedestal and act completely different from who they actually are, which only pushes them away. You wouldn’t change the game plan that got you to the championship, would you? Be yourself and know that you yourself are enough to shoulder your own happiness. Girlfriends aren’t meant to be your happiness, they are there to enhance it. You need to wake up everyday, look in the mirror and have the mentality of “you know what? I’m a F****** catch and anybody would be lucky to have me”.
(photo: @isaiahrustad)
Why do you take rejection so personally? Why does it hurt you so much – for days, weeks, months, or even years?
The short answer is because you just haven’t been rejected enough. You haven’t survived through it enough times to be able to say, “Hey, that wasn’t so bad.”
The long answer is because when you’ve worked so hard to protect yourself, anything that threatens your ego is devastating.
Here’s the progression:
In this world, there is a subset of men that believe women are only attracted to assholes.
Which is true, if you preface this belief with ‘very few’.
The vast majority of women are attracted to good men.
The subset of men that believe otherwise are Nice Guys.
What’s a Nice Guy?
A man that displays overwhelming acts of kindness towards women, with a firm expectation of immediate romantic or sexual rewards.
Some of the common traits of a Nice Guy include: