Self-Improvement

The Daily Man-Up: “I Can’t” vs “I Don’t”

June 27, 2019 Leave a Comment

The Journal of Consumer Research published a study examining the use of linguistics and self-talk in decision making. They brought in 120 undergraduates who were trying to eat more healthily.

When faced with temptation, one group was told to say, “I can’t” and another group, “I don’t”. On the surface, both words have a similar effect – two slightly different ways of saying “no”. However, the difference is internal.

“When it is obvious that the goals cannot be reached, don’t adjust the goals, adjust the action steps.” – Confucius

When you say, “I don’t”, you are making a choice not to do something and choices are physiologically empowering. You confirm to yourself that do have the strength and willpower to say no. On the other hand, “I can’t” is a restriction, something you want to do is being blocked. It undermines your sense of free will.

The Daily Man-Up: Stand Up Straight

June 25, 2019 Leave a Comment

To start, lobsters and humans have similar nervous systems and live in a dominance hierarchy. But what do lobsters have to do with standing up straight? Well, humans and lobsters share the chemical serotonin, which governs posture. When a lobster is defeated in a fight, its posture drops, it faces the ground and appears weak to others. The same thing happens to humans, and with each defeat, serotonin levels drop and so does our posture.

If a person slouches, they present themselves as defeated. However, if a person stands up straight, it means they may have taken a hit but are not defeated.

The Daily Man-Up: How Do I Become Mentally Strong?

June 20, 2019 Leave a Comment

(photo: @rankandfiledostoevsky)

The same way you get physically stronger…

One rep, one set, and one step at a time.

Mental strength isn’t rocket science.

It’s simply learning to be comfortable doing things you don’t want to do.

So how do you cultivate mental strength?

Here are a few ideas to get you started .

Before We Begin: The Principle of Progressive Overload

It’s funny to me how often people ignore this principle in their lives.

In the same way that you can’t go to the gym, deadlift 225 lbs. for 5 reps one week and then expect to lift 405 lbs. for 5 reps the next week, you can’t expect to just wake up one day and be as mentally strong as a Navy SEAL.

It just won’t happen. You have to work up to it and slowly build your mental strength over time.

The Daily Man-Up: The Grip

June 14, 2019 Leave a Comment

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A post shared by David Goggins (@davidgoggins) on Jun 11, 2019 at 11:46am PDT

The further you walk away from accountability, the weaker you become!

Some of us suffer from a lack of inspiration and motivation. We are hoping to find it through some fucking miracle! You aren’t going to find it by wishing it true!

One of the places you are going to find it is by putting obstacles in front of you everyday. By putting things in front of you that you think are slightly out of your reach, it forces your mind to examine your true capabilities! In that moment, your mind becomes very focused and, in that focused state of mind, your inspiration appears. You don’t find this by not putting a challenge in front of yourself everyday.

When you are in that challenge, you have several decisions to make. If you decide to move forward, you have now entered what I call The Grip! The Grip is a world of suffering and pain and mental discomfort but on the other side of The Grip is a feeling of total accomplishment.

The Daily Man-Up

June 11, 2019 Leave a Comment

(photo: @anthonydelanoix)

If you can master your ability to consistently act in a focused way toward your highest priorities – your highest wellness – then there’s practically no cap on how high you can go, how far you can reach. But if you don’t master this, and if you’re constantly going back-and-forth between celery and doughnuts, then it’s not practical to expect your life to improve.

Any simpleton can get motivated for a week. But to master your actions in the long-term is the difference that makes all the difference.

I’m going to share this formula for self-discipline that I’ve arrived at to create long-term habit success in anyone. Importantly: this will not make it easier, or remove the ‘effort’ element. All it will do is point out what’s required. This will not happen automatically, it’s done manually. You must do it.

[Read more…] about The Daily Man-Up

The Daily Man-Up

June 10, 2019 Leave a Comment

Anytime you think “I don’t really want to do that right now” is when you should do that “right now”

90% of the time you consider doing something and think “I don’t want to do that” it’s not that you can’t or you’re busy, it’s simply being lazy. Don’t give yourself time to this of reason not to do it, just commit to physically starting it. The majority of these things are things that take 5 minutes to complete, like doing the dishes.

Also Instead of thinking “this is going to suck, I don’t want to do this,” think, “it’s going to feel so good to have this done”

Often, we procrastinate and avoid the things that we know we need to do because we know they will cause discomfort. Instead of thinking past that to how our future selves will feel , we stop at, “it’s going to be unpleasant, so I don’t want to do it.”

[Read more…] about The Daily Man-Up

The Daily Man-Up: Pain Is Your Ally

June 7, 2019 Leave a Comment

(photo: @aloragriffiths)

“It is a fundamental law of nature that to evolve one has to push one’s limits, which is painful, in order to gain strength. Nature gives us pain as a messaging device to tell us that we are approaching, or that we have exceeded, our limits in some way. At the same time, nature made the process of getting stronger require us to push our limits. Gaining strength is the adaptation process of the body and the mind to encountering one’s limits, which is painful. In other words, both pain and strength typically result from encountering one’s barriers. When we encounter pain, we are at an important juncture in our decision-making process.”

The Daily Man-Up: Seek Discomfort

May 29, 2019 Leave a Comment

(photo: @1walter2)

We spend a lot of time trying to avoid discomfort. We’ll never succeed, though. Preparing for discomfort by getting used to it only makes sense.

Avoiding discomfort doesn’t just make us unprepared for the unavoidable difficult parts of life. If we avoid too much uncomfortable activity, it can lead to a downward spiral. As Zen Habits puts it:

The problem is that when you run from discomfort all the time, you are restricted to a small zone of comfort, and so you miss out on most of life. On most of the best things in life, in fact. And you become unhealthy, because if eating healthy food and exercising is uncomfortable, then you go to comfort foods and not moving much. Being unhealthy, unfortunately, is also uncomfortable, so then you seek distractions from this (and the fact that you have debt and too much clutter, etc.) in food and entertainment and shopping (as if spending will solve our problems!) and this in turn makes things worse.

The Daily Man-Up: Fear Of Looking Stupid Is The #1 Killer Of Dreams

May 21, 2019 Leave a Comment

Fear of looking stupid is the #1 killer of dreams.

The worst part? The people who make you feel stupid are usually the ones least qualified to judge someone else’s life. Their own lives are falling apart, yet they constantly tear down others around them.

I was talking with my friend the other day, and he told me about an incident in 1st grade that would shape his life for the next 20 years.

There were several large rocks outside my friend’s classroom. The “cool kid” of the class was showing off, hopping from rock to rock with grace and agility.

The Daily Man-Up: Change How You Define Yourself And Your Actions Will Follow

May 13, 2019 Leave a Comment

(photo: @georgecoletrain)

The way that you define yourself matters.

Consider “I don’t scroll on my phone in bed” vs “I’m trying not to scroll on my phone in bed.”

Even if, “I don’t scroll on my phone in bed,” isn’t quite true yet, act like it is. Start to think of yourself as someone who doesn’t scroll in bed. When you go to pick up your phone in the morning, remind yourself that you don’t do this. It isn’t an option.

Treat that definition as a rule, not a suggestion. The way you define yourself plays a huge role in how you act.