Ok. I’ll try. It’s a bit rambling because I should have gone to bed a while ago. And it kind of starts in the middle because there was another bit before what I wrote but I was copypasting stuff around and it all ended up a bit of a mess but I hope it gives some sense of what my experience was.
So the only reprieve you have from crappiness is to get into the drug. People call it getting high but I think that’s one of the most misleading words associated with drugs, I always think of drugs as like going and sitting in this room where everything is alright, the rooms are different but they all serve that same purpose. Of course not when you first start, at first you want to see the room, all the cool stuff, it’s so interesting, amazing look that! Wow man, can you dig it? Yeah bro. It’s nice. Reaallly nice man, like the best everrrrrrrrr.
And that’s fucking cool. And if you just visit a few times that’s what you remember. But if you stay in the room too long you get used to it in there, how nice and warm it is. How interesting it is. How much you like everyone while you’re in there. And the more time you spend in there, the colder you notice it is outside, how the lights start to hurt your eyes and everything is a bit too garish and discordant and all that stuff people want you to do and the people themselves… well they just start to grate on you and seems now you can’t wait to get away from them, back to your cocoon. That’s all you want, more than anything, if everyone would just leave you alone and let you do that then there would be no problem, and guess what? You get your wish.
Because people will try a bit at the start, maybe your girlfriend will make a bit of a drama about it, maybe some people will have some sympathy for you or try to intervene but pretty soon they’ll all move on, but you won’t.
- Buy high quality tools, so you only have to buy them once.
- Keep a change of clothes at the office.
- Never hit anyone unless they are an immediate threat.
- Every hat should serve a purpose.
- Never take her to the movies on the first date.
- Learn to wet shave.
- Nothing looks more badass than a well-tailored suit.
- Shave with the grain on the first go-around.
- Always look a person in the eye when you talk to them.
- Buy a plunger before you need a plunger.
- Exercise makes you happy. Run, lift, and play sports.
- Brush your teeth before you put on your tie.
by Nick Notas
Good friends are family.
They aren’t just buddies we have a fun time with but people we treat like our own blood. They can be profound connections that are forged for a lifetime.
I remember sitting in the car with my girlfriend and a close friend when he opened up to us. “Listen, you know how much I care about my mom and brother. They have the best intentions but sometimes they don’t truly understand me. But you both do. And I want you to know that you’re my family, too.”
It was one of the most honest and meaningful statements someone had ever said to me.
The other day I was excited to see a “How to Be a Good Friend” article appear in my feed. Reading through it was severely disappointing for a topic so important. When I searched for similar articles on Google, I was amazed to see how many contained idealistic advice that lacked any substance.
Here’s my list of ground rules that I follow to be a good friend.
- Don’t be a fair-weather friend. You have to maintain your own life and set boundaries for your time. However, being there only when it’s beneficial or convenient for you is selfish. Friendship should be a mutually valuable connection.
This especially applies when starting a new relationship. Don’t forget about your friends or let your partner dictate who you’re allowed to see. Even though you have less free time, keep in touch and make plans when you can. How can you expect the friends you ignore to welcome you with open arms if the relationship ends?
by Kratos Guide
1 Exercise – Exercise is huge. I briefly touched on what happens to you in the short term but consider also the long term effects of regular exercise. As you maintain a regiment of exercise your body fat percentage drops, your flexibility and strength increase (less chance of injury) your lifespan extends, your immune system is bolstered, you maintain your youth longer, you carry over a sustained vigor to other parts of your life, your resting heart rate goes down, and you have a general feeling of well being. Pretty sweet. Clearly exercising is very important; given both its short and long term benefits.
But do you have to do this every day? That seems strenuous. Try expanding your definition – You don’t give it your 100% every day. Some days may be 10 minutes of simple light stretching, just to keep the habit. Other days may be 2.5 hour monster gym sessions.
I use this habit to help me accomplish two other things very important to me, mediation and getting in nature. Often times my physical exertion is a one hour walk through the park or along the water front. Practicing a walking meditation is a great way to center yourself and help carry the skill over to everyday life. Being in nature has a similar balancing effect on your well being.
But you don’t need me to tell you to work out. The benefits are all clearly documented by scientists and people. There are networks and resources for support and endless sources of inspiration to motivate you.
What do you think is the most positive thing someone can realistically do to change the world?
I think the best thing we can do to change the world is to inspire young people. The more people realize that the key to happiness in life is to surround yourself with good friends, to be a good friend, to challenge yourself in honest ways, to not take short cuts but rather to rise to the challenge and grow from the struggle. To not be jealous of each other’s success but rather be inspired by it. The more we realize that the key to happiness doesn’t lay in numbers in a bank account but in the way we make others feel and the way they make us feel. The values of true community.
Although these values are massively important and resonate with every honest person when they’re discussing “meaning” and “happiness” in life, they’re not taught in school. We learn the building blocks of mathematics, the fundamentals of language, the facts of history – but we never learn how to manage our minds. We never learn how to live by a code and to surround yourself with like-minded people and to inspire and encourage each other.
Occasionally we’re fed clumsy, abstract shit like “think positive!” but no one ever gives us a clear path of what the fuck that means. No one ever tells you that all the success in the world will leave you a miserable wreck of a person if you stab your brothers and sisters in the back in your attempt to reach victory. No one ever tells you that all the money in the world ain’t worth shit if no one gives a fuck about you and you have no friends.
The quicker we all realize that we’ve been taught how to live life by people that were operating on the momentum of an ignorant past the quicker we can move to a global ethic of community that doesn’t value invented borders or the monopolization of natural resources, but rather the goal of a happier more loving humanity.
People can still make money and still find success while doing it all ethically. We live in a time where we’re seeing corporations acting as remorseless, profit seeking monsters with each human part required to keep it moving feeling free of guilt because of the diffusion of responsibility that comes with being a single piece in a huge machine. Too many people have the attitude that this is the only way to do big business. That’s a pile of weak bullshit, and this generation may be one of the first generations that has the information available to make that distinction and stop that flawed model from being acceptable.
The more people require the highest level of friendship and love of themselves the more other people will be inspired by them. If that sounds like some hippy, utopian bullshit… it’s because it is. It also might be the only way people are ever really going to change. One person inspiring another, each commiting to upholding a higher standard until it becomes the norm.
Humanity has changed drastically over the past few thousand years. It used to be when people you didn’t know showed up in town they were there to rape and murder. Now, they’re tourists and they’re welcomed with open arms as a valuable part of the global economy. One day I believe that if we don’t blow ourselves up, or poison ourselves with polution, or get wiped out by a super-bug or an asteroid impact we’ll slowly come to the understanding that we really are just one species, and that the only way to truly be happy is if everyone around you is happy as well.
People think it’s the alone of being forever alone that hurts the most, but that’s not true. Everybody’s alone sometimes, whether for periods when they’re not dating anyone or just for a weekend while their spouse is at a conference. Alone is part of the human condition. It’s the forever that pulls down the corners of your mouth just a little bit when you give someone a smile meant to indicate that everything’s okay with you even though you want to scream that nothing’s okay and never will be. It’s the forever that tastes bitter in the back of your throat when you see a happy couple walking in the park or laughing in a restaurant. It’s the forever that has you wide awake staring at your ceiling into the wee hours of the morning.Forever alone.
There’s an ongoing half-serious claim in our culture that men think about sex all the time. Every 17 seconds or so. That may be true for some guys but not a forever alone. After awhile you stop being able to think about sex, at least the way other people do. You can think about it abstractly, or when watching other people perform a stylized version of it alone in your room while you use your hand to joylessly complete a sad shadow of the biological imperative, but you stop being able to imagine sex as something you could be a part of. You see a woman in the springtime, her midriff peeking out from between the soft cotton of a shirt and the rougher waist of a pair of jeans. You start to imagine her naked, constructing a fantasy in detail, the way her breasts would sit against her chest, the soft down or absence thereof on her pubic area, and then you try to insert yourself into her presence and the fantasy crumbles to dust under the weight of its own absurdity. You know there’s no chain of events, no course of actions, that could lead to that ill defined imaginary room where the two of you would meet in an act of carnal congress. There’s no way to there from where you are, it’s not even an alternate universe, it’s an inconceivable one. It’s like trying to imagine a world where everything else is the same except elephants float around like helium balloons and have to be anchored by their trunks or they’ll float away. An inherently absurd thought. That’s the idea of you and her being intimate. So you look away from that tiny sliver of skin, trying to keep your face from contorting in pain and bitterness. Where other men might smile at her you don’t, because your smile sucks, and you suck. Forever alone.