Typical weekday: Wake up. Put on clothes. Brush teeth. Wash face. Make coffee. Sit down at desk to start the work day. Read the news/see what’s going on in the world. Work…avoid work…work…avoid work. Check social media for no reason. Check my stocks that never make money. Avoid laundry. Avoid cleaning cat vomit. Do some online shopping for household items. Avoid opening delivery boxes/mail. More work. Make lunch. Clean kitchen. Clean cat vomit. Open packages. Maybe go for a walk. Back to work. Do some laundry. More work. Maybe work out. Make dinner. Clean dinner. Watch some mindless TV. Pretend to care about sports on TV. Shower. Go to bed. Do it all over again the next day.
Took me circa 38 years to realize just how exhausting existence is. Even making a sandwich for lunch seems like a burden now.
And the weekend days aren’t really any less exhausting: more chores, ‘keeping up with the jones’ lifestyle, etc etc.
I even realized that pretending to care, or even pretending like I know what I’m doing, is exhausting.
And it’s just going to get worse as I age. My body is already deteriorating. I avoid going to the doctor. Every year there is a new pain somewhere in the body. The worst part is…I believe in nothing…so all this is essentially for nothing.
I just can’t stop seeing how much of a burden life, and “adulting”, truly is. And it’s amazing to me how so many people don’t see it.
Dear Friend,
Reading your message felt like I was listening to a profound echo from so many conversations I’ve had—and, honestly, from my own life too. You’re in the thick of what sounds like a relentless grind, and it sounds exhausting because, frankly, it is. You’re not alone in feeling this way. The big question we need to tackle is: How do we find renewal in the midst of the seemingly endless “rinse and repeat” of daily life?
It seems like you might be caught in a cycle, doing the same things over and over and somehow hoping for a different result. This is a common trap, one that’s easy to fall into but not impossible to escape from. It’s going to take some intentionality and possibly some uncomfortable changes, but the results can be profoundly different.
First, let’s talk about connection. The world spins more smoothly when we are connected to others. It sounds like you might be isolating yourself, sticking to routines that don’t require you to engage much with the world outside your front door. My challenge to you is to start small. Reach out to a friend or family member, make plans for coffee, or simply go for a walk in a busy park. See faces, make eye contact, exchange a smile. Humans are built for connection, and it nourishes us in ways that solo activities and screen time can’t match.
Next, your need for play. Yes, play. Adults forget that they need to play too. Watching TV and scrolling through your phone doesn’t count—these are passive, not active forms of engagement. When was the last time you did something just because it was fun, not because it was productive, or healthy, or educational? Consider trying your hand at a new art form, learning a musical instrument, or even joining a local theater group. Play is rejuvenating; it resets our brains and makes those daily routines more bearable.
Let’s consider health .I see you dodging this one, and hey, I get it. Going to the doctor can be a drag, and sometimes scary. But think of it this way: If your car was making a weird noise, wouldn’t you want to fix it before it breaks down entirely? Your body and mind are the most precious things you own. Take care of them. Regular check-ups, a balanced diet, sleep, and exercise—they’re not just boxes to check for health. They’re foundational to everything else you want to do and enjoy.
The exhaustion you describe can sometimes be more than just tiredness—it might be a sign of depression. This isn’t just about feeling sad; it’s about feeling persistently depleted, which might be what you’re experiencing. It’s completely okay—and important—to seek help. A mental health professional can offer support and strategies to manage and improve your mental state. Therapy can be a valuable space to explore these feelings and start working toward change.
Finally, purpose. It’s the engine that drives us, and right now, it sounds like your tank is running low. Volunteering is a fantastic way to refill it. When we step into spaces where we can help others, we step outside our own troubles. It’s not a magic fix, but it adds layers to our existence that make personal struggles more manageable because we see the tangible impact of our efforts on others’ lives.
Life can feel like a burdensome cycle sometimes, but with intentional effort, we can paint new, vibrant colors on a seemingly dull canvas. You’ve got this. I’m rooting for you.