Since dating my boyfriend, he kept making side comments about my appearance here and there. Then he compliments his ex every now and then. He says she is pretty or ended up talking about how he fell for her ass. One day I asked him to stop because it was making me self conscious. He never complimented me until I made a comment about it.
It’s been about four months and I told him I don’t have a good feeling about him and his ex and that he makes it seem like he likes her more than me. He finally told me that she is more attractive than me and that I am a 4/10 for him. I even asked how he thought about me, compared to his friend’s girlfriends, and he says they are more attractive than me. He tells me that his ex beauty means nothing to him. Then he turns around and still tries to call me beautiful after telling me was below average in looks. I am ok without being everyone’s cup of tea, but my own boyfriend?
Now I’m always looking in the mirror questioning myself. Everytime we go out I think about how he thinks all the girls are prettier than me. I don’t think I’m ugly and I am also not super attractive, but damn I thought I’d atleast get a 5 from my own boyfriend. What do I do? Do I leave because now I’m too insecure to be with him? Am I wrong? Would you date someone who thinks you are below average look wise?
Your feelings are valid, and your boyfriend’s behavior is utterly despicable.
Rating your girlfriend’s looks on a numeric scale, constantly talking up how hot your ex was, and telling you that his friends’ girlfriends are more attractive than you? No. Just no. This guy has the sensitivity and emotional intelligence of a potato.
You say you don’t think you’re ugly but also not super attractive. But you know what? That’s irrelevant. What matters is that you deserve to be with someone who thinks you are absolutely beautiful and makes you feel that way. Every. Single. Day.
His attempts to call you beautiful now ring completely hollow after he so thoughtlessly shattered your self-esteem. It’s like smashing a vase and then trying to hastily tape it back together. The damage is done.
I would seriously question staying with someone who makes you this insecure, who makes you feel like you don’t measure up, like you’re always being compared to other women and found wanting. That’s not what a loving relationship should do to you. It should build you up, not tear you down.
Leaving him over this would be completely justified in my opinion. Find someone who will appreciate you for exactly who you are, inside and out. You deserve so much better than to be stuck with a tactless, insensitive, emotionally stunted man-child who probably couldn’t find his own ass with both hands and a map.