1. A girlfriend is someone with whom you enjoy the present. With someone who is wife material, you can see the future.
2. She decreases my stress instead of increasing it. It’s incredible the amount of women who add drama and stress into a man’s life, and the expect him to stay
3. The things that make my wife the unicorn that she is, isn’t because of anything unique. It’s really basic, just being a good person stuff.
4. For me, I would marry someone whose long term goals align with me, can communicate clearly and we are on the same page on topics like religion, politics etc. Also, mental, emotional and financial maturity is a must.
For a girlfriend, I can ignore some parts of what I said above.
5. If she’s ride or die.
If she’s not on the team, I mean really on the team, she’s not someone to marry.
My now-wife very, very early showed that she was backing me when I got out of grad school with nothing except three thousand bucks and a resume. I cannot express how big that was for me.
6. Been married 14 years now. Together 19.
- My wife is my safe space. I can share my hopes and fears.
- She pushes me to be my best self
- Before getting engaged I really thought about our future and I didn’t see a place where I was better without her.
- She doesn’t put up with BS either and will call me out when it’s deserved
- We can have respectful conversations. We don’t cuss or yell at each other. Have we been upset with each yes, but abuse of any kind is not tolerated.
7. 9 years married.
I want to spend the rest of my life with her.
She doesn’t make my life painful. Occasionally difficult because she wants me to do stuff for her (hang up more art, be her photographer, carry heavy shit, etc) but not painful.
She respects me. She encourages me. She never brings me down.
She communicates her wants and needs directly to me and has taught me to do the same. I know there’s a stereotype of women expecting men to read their minds, but I find that a lot of men expect to have their desires unfulfilled and suffer in silence, which is equally bad.
She is my role model in so many things. Not everything (no one is perfect) but a lot of things.
8. Every time I’ve argued with previous girlfriends it’s been me vs them. My fiancée makes me feel like it’s always US vs the problem and not once has she made me feel like she’s confronting me directly. It’s always been she and I versus whatever problem/situation we’re facing. Nothing better than that.
9. When sh*t gets tough, she stayed put. this is the reason i marry my wife. she’s attractive and she can just bounce and find someone else, but she didn’t.
10. The biggest thing for me is stability. She needs to be stable emotionally, financially, etc. It means that she is someone I can count on when I need her. I try to be the same so that I am there for her when she needs me. We are allowed to have instability, shit happens, but that shouldn’t be the default.
11. Wife material means I enjoy being around her when my balls are empty.
12. A partner in all meanings, rather than someone who relies on, needs, and is dependent on you.
Emotional maturity and intelligence. I honestly can’t imagine doing life with someone of below average intelligence.
Mental stability because your partner’s problems become your problems.