Let’s get something straight right off the bat: using money to attract women does work.
At first.
Buy a fancy car. Flash the watch. Drop a few hundred on dinner like it’s nothing. You’ll catch attention. You might even land a date or two. People will notice. But here’s the problem…
What you use to attract someone is what you’ll need to keep them.
And that, my friend, is where the cracks start to show.
The Transactional Trap
When you use money to impress, the unspoken message is, “I don’t think I’m enough on my own.”
You’re saying, “I’m not interesting enough, confident enough, funny enough, emotionally available enough… so I’ll let my bank account do the talking.”
And guess what? That works great—for attracting people who are also playing the same game.
People who want status. Or security. Or lifestyle perks. You attract someone who values the trappings of a relationship more than the substance of it.
That’s fine if all you want is surface-level. But if you’re looking for something deeper—something where you’re seen and loved for you—you’ve already lost.
Because you never gave her the chance to know you in the first place.
Money as a Mask
There’s nothing wrong with making good money. In fact, being financially stable and generous is attractive and healthy. But when money becomes your main appeal, it starts to cover up your personality like a filter.
And relationships built on filters always collapse. Eventually, the real you shows up. And if you’ve never led with that guy, she won’t recognize him—or worse, she won’t be interested in him at all.
You end up feeling used, resentful, or hollow. Like you were just a credit card with a pulse. Which, in a way, is exactly the role you cast yourself in.
Confidence vs Compensation
There’s a quiet power in knowing you don’t need to prove anything.
Real confidence is:
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Being kind without being a pushover.
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Having boundaries and sticking to them.
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Making someone feel heard, not bought.
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Showing up consistently, not extravagantly.
When you lead with that energy, you attract people who want you, not what you can do for them. And that’s the kind of relationship that lasts.
So What Do You Do Instead?
If you’re relying on money to impress, it might be time to ask: Why do I think I need it to be worthy of love or respect?
Often, it’s not about the money. It’s about what we think it says about us—successful, powerful, desirable. But if that’s all we offer, we’re selling ourselves short.
So the next time you’re tempted to impress someone with your wallet, pause. Try being present. Ask better questions. Share something real. Lead with who you are, not what you have.
Because if you want someone to choose you, you’ve got to show up as you.
And when someone chooses you for that?
You’ll never have to question why they’re staying.