I have three brothers and they all have schizophrenia. They are also mentally disabled so they function with the intelligence of a five year old. One has severe autism and ocd. They all believe the the government/people are watching them and one believes he’s god’s chosen warrior.
They will never live on their own (we tried that, they destroyed apartments and got arrested and thrown out) and never be able to take care of themselves so that leaves me. I’m the middle child and the only one born without schizophrenia/OCD/Autism/mentally disability. Every since I was a child I was groomed to take care of them for the rest of my life. Everything I do is for them. I have to go to college and get a good job so I can take care of them. I can never have my own kids because I’m afraid I’m going to pass down all the mental health/disabilities they have. Also, one of them is a pedophile, he’s been in jail for cp so imagine having kids with him in the house.
Tonight I had a fight with one of them and they called me a fat pig and my mom took their side because they’re mentally disabled. How does she expect me to take care of them forever if she doesn’t make them respect me? He said I did nothing for him and I do everything for him, he just can’t remember because he’s mentally ill.
I just feel like I’ll never have my own life. Any future partner I have has to be okay with me having three grown disabled men in my house. Two of which had extreme trouble with the law.
Taking care of them is constant. It’s 63% of what I do.
I’m writing this because I feel unappreciated. My mom thinks it’s so easy for me to give up my life for them. I got frustrated with her and told her I feel like I’ll never be able to have a family and a partner and she said “you didn’t want one anyway, right?”
I feel so alone. I feel like my life has been planned out for me before I was even born. I can’t even leave them in the house alone or they’ll start fighting each other.
I wish I could just be free to choose my life. Or at least I want my family to see this is not an easy decision. My sister also has no mental disorders but she did the smart thing and moved away.
I know I will take care of them for the rest of my life but I wish my mom could see what I’m giving up. I didn’t ask for any of this. It was just thrown on me.